Its Thanksgiving and I find myself struggling to write something that have that festive feeling that we all want in this season.
At first it just didn’t make sense, and then it occurred to me why? I bet you are curious too.
Not so long ago I actually detested any festive holidays. It was yet another reason to remember my lonely state of mind and how I didn’t have this and that to fill my life with. It was a time to watch others living the life I so longed for.
Few years back I joined my family for yet another Christmas dinner, it was nice of them to include me. The truth was I felt out-of-place, sometimes I can’t help thinking maybe they feel sorry for me and can’t bear to see me spend another festive holiday alone with my Chinese fried rice and wonton soup.
The evening was going great, lovely food and nice company. Just then my nephew asked me a question. “Aunty why don’t we see uncle again”????
Children are just plain honest aren’t they? They are pure and innocent; they often say things that adults won’t dare!
Uncle was my ex. If silence could kill, I wanted to be dead on the spot. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.
Nobody said a word; it seems like forever before I could muster something sensible out of my usually big mouth. My lips were dry, the food no longer had any flavor and for a split second, I didn’t like my young innocent nephew.
I must have said something but I can’t remember what, I stayed and spend a few more hours with them and the moment I got in to my car, I busted into tears.
I cried from the depth of my soul. I cried because what my nephew said struck a chord with me.
We bring people into our lives and we never know the impact it will have on others. My nephew didn’t understand that we were no longer together. One day, uncle was there and now he’s gone. Then I realized I am becoming the funny Aunty in the family. Every family has either a crazy uncle or a funny aunty.
I was becoming the “funny aunty” and these innocents ones are around to see it? Oh Lord I reject it. The rest of Christmas was just miserable, I hated the Christmas carol, and I hated the decorations, especially Rudolf the red nose reindeer. Why? I don’t know, I just did!
So as we celebrate thanksgiving and we are very merry, spare a thought and a prayer for others that are less fortunate. Others that can’t careless for the spirit of the season. The fatherless, motherless, the scorned wife, misunderstood husband, the lonely and abandoned. The single, and widower, the divorced and separated, the single parents. Those that are homeless, those that are hopeless, those struggling with addiction. That mother, who just miscarried a pregnancy, buried a child, the prodigal sons and daughters wrestling with the decision to return home or not.
The mother who is nursing a painful secret of abortion or adoption. The separated father that remembers that his children are out there but can’t even begin to think of how to go about reconciliation after all these decades.
Those in the military, armed services, serving our nation and not spending this time with their family. Missionaries all over the world serving God, fulfilling their divine calling but still missing their family.
I know and feel your pain; I empathize with you. I wish I can tell you it will get better tonight but I would be lying. You don’t need that from me, it will get better with time though.
As dark and painful things might seem, there is hope in Christ. You don’t have to be religious or even be a Christian to believe in that hope. Jesus came and died for everyone and especially you. He can fill that void and pain right now, just call on to Him. That simple? Yes, go on and try it.
I pray that those tears will soon become tears of joy and not sadness. Your mourning will become dancing, no more sad songs, may your lips be filled with praises.
May you find forgiveness, peace, love and joy. Jesus is the reason for the season. May you enjoy his peace and blessings this holiday season.
Thinking of you, you are in my prayers.