Chaperone Anyone?

So imagine my surprise on our first date when I was informed that there will be a friend coming along? A friend coming along with us on our first date I thought, what for?

The definition of Chaperone by http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chaperone is as follows;

1 – a person (as a matron) who for propriety accompanies one or more young unmarried women in public or in mixed company

2 –  an older person who accompanies young people at a social gathering to ensure proper behavior; broadly : one delegated to ensure proper behavior

Adey informed me that his very good friend  (Sam) will be coming along with us to the cinema on our very first date! Up until then all our conversation were on the phone.

Alright to those of you in the Christian-Dom, you might not find this strange. But I was coming from the world, so bear with me. We do things differently and this was all too new to me.

Especially when you consider yourself to have seen and done it all. This took me by surprise in a nice way. I thought about it and I kind of started liking this new man I’m about to know better.

Never had any man wanted to protect me or needed to be accountable for their behavior until I met Adey.

I was also willing to do something new, something other than what I had been doing before which certainly was not working for me.

Off we went on our very first date with our chaperone. I felt protected that someone genuinely cared about their actions and conduct.

This was to set the tone of the character of Adey and the type of person he is.

Chaper-what? At my age in my 30’s and finally doing things the right way. My mom used to drive me crazy with stories of how she and my dad courted with a chaperone and never alone by themselves. I use to think back then “that is so ancient”.

Well, who is ancient now? Me, lol. One way or the other mothers are always right.

For the first time in my life, I experienced the joy of courting/dating without the added pressure of brothers behaving badly and no hands all over me! Plz….

You may be wondering what kind of people I was rolling with? Yeah here is a shocker for you, Christians. Just because we were in the world doesn’t always mean that we didn’t want a Christian brother/sister too.

I know it may not sound cool anymore to still have chaperone in attendance when you hang out with each other. You may think that you wont be tempted and you end up doing something you will end up regretting, hence ruining a good relationship before it started.

We must be careful of not giving wrong impression to others and avoid all appearances of evil.

Just because you have been around and seen it all doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be open minded to a new way of doing things. Don’t be stuck in the mud and not accept changes, life is too short doing it your own way.

The lesson here is to do things the godly way and be open to trying something new that you have never tried before. You just never know what you are missing out on.

What was your experience on your first date and what new things have your tried that took you by surprise, nicely!


About Buky

Buky is a ''Desperado after God". She is married to Adey and together they are raising 3 amazing children. She is a natural encourager & she loves to share practical experiences with others. She enjoys writing, reading, dabbling in stock trading, hanging out with friends and serving the body of Christ.

14 Comments

  1. Buky,

    Thanks for this post, i enjoy reading it. Lol.

    ChaperWHAT? I am in my late 30s too and would love to have this experience. Well there is hope for the rest of us.

    I will be more open to new things from now on. Life is too short like you said.

  2. Oh my You have pick a greas topic! In this day and time with rebellion from children in the "church" (yeah I said it! ) we must return to basic principles that actually worked for our parents and old school, YES OLD SCHOOL it may be but the wisdom that Buky talks about when she began to think about the purpose and value this "extra person" had been…well it changed her perspective and Look what God has done, she now lives a blessed life with God leading the way and Her husband continues to Lead her as God leads him! I will say to my Pleasant surprise, Kris and Katherine sat me down and asked my approval of them desiring to date. It set me back so much so that I got up and walked out of Starbucks leaving them unanswered! I was thinking and as a parent I think I finally did the right thing and prayed before I answered! Oh I said yes…only after praying and chatting with God for a while. The point….seek the wisdom of God before you do anything or answer anything! It worked for me 🙂

  3. Wow, I know the idea of dating with a chaperone has never even entered my mind. You make great points, and I think if someone who wanted to date me suggested it (for the reasons you stated) I would be really impressed. 🙂 as a 'young person' I hope this catches on. Accountability is so important, and if more of us were held to it, I think we would we better off. Great post Aunty! <3

  4. I am all for accountabilty but a chaperone???
    Thats extreme maybe the more i think about it and analyse
    it it would grow on me but for now. I feel there are other ways to remain accountable.

  5. I like the chaperone idea especially for the first date. It takes away any form of awkwardness that might come in since it is your first time being together and all. Once it does not become an every date thing, it ias fine. You are so right about not giving the wrong impression!

  6. Ashley, I am glad you enjoyed my post and will be more opento new experiences in the future. All the best to you..

  7. Laura, Old School is the New School now!! Hindsight is great isnt it?. Those basic principles that worked for our parents are excellent ideas.
    You must have been a proud mama to be asked for permission, it says alot about your trainning them and how awesome Kris and Kat are.
    Have a blessed week friend.

  8. Sope, Accountability is so important. It is a place of safety for the woman especially. The idea of chaperone maybe old school but gosh I sure feltl special and protected that day. Am glad you are open to the idea too.

  9. Amira, I totally get what you are saying. 10years ago I would have being ChaperWhat? Please whatever!!!
    What I love about like is Time, in time we get to see things from a different perspectives. Thanks for your comment

  10. Temi,

    I hope when the opportunity present itself to you that you give it a go too. I am loving your post on http://temiville.wordpress.com/2010/12/08/what-wo
    Keep up the great work and have a blessed week.

  11. Wow…. in the days of seating before a lady with cold chills making tracks on my spine while sweat beads gradually form on my forehead… a chaperone would definitely come in handy. Somehow unconsciously I have used my friends to do this for me in time past but this can be tied to a budding sense of low esteem within me. You've made very excellent point from another perspective one can never be too careful in defining purpose and value. One must never forget though that not every lady will feel comfortable with a chaperone and having one around may send an extremely unredeemable bad signal about the guy. selah. Thanks for this write ups, you've been a blessing to me

  12. Thanks for sharing this, but I seem to agree with Amira's view: control comes from the inside, "thy word have I HID IN MY HEART that I might not sin against thee…" I think it is often better to work on the alternative that works all the time, because, one will not always have the luxury of a chaperon , Joseph didn't have one while in Photifar's house, the three Hebrew kids didn't either,while in Babylon and they came out victorious, yet a certain Israelite recorded in the scriptures misbehavd right in the presence of Moses and the congregation (Numbers 25:6) what more chaperon could he have wanted? Please, don't get me wrong, that was a very noble gesture, I'm just saying, it is best and more effective when the control comes from within, by the help of the holy spirit.

    Once again, Thanks for sharing.

  13. @Ayodele and Poetoria thanks for your comments. It is always great to get the male perspective on this issues.

    @Poetoria – I love your blog, you certainly have a way with words and thanks for connecting on facebook.

  14. Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it. Wishing you a fruitful new year ahead

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