Grandparent For Hire

Lately my daughter has started asking about her grandparents. Each time, she has taken me by surprise and I haven’t figured what to tell her yet.

I try my very best to always tell her the truth, I realized that we need to established a relationship based on honesty even at such tender age of 4, children may be young but they are not stupid.

So why am I hesitant regarding my reply to her? We only have one living grandmother and she does not reside in America but most importantly hasn’t played an active role in our children’s lives.

Up till now it’s been ok and we do get by, our lives are busy with various other granny’s from our church who genuinely loves them. There is a part a grandparent plays in the lives of their children and I must admit that it is lacking in our children lives.

I don’t get bugged down by things that are out of my control; I comfort myself with the fact that at least we still have one that is living. My father is dead, both Adey’s parents are also late and none of them got to see our children. While it is not a source of sadness, it would have been nice to have them around to share some stories and family histories.

So what is the solution to my daughter’s request for granny? It may sound crazy but can’t we hire a granny? I am sure there are many grannies out there without their children living close by that can give love to a little girl or boy.

Would we have to pay them for their services? I know that we are not the only one experiencing this,so what kind of solutions have others found to fill this void?

As much as I believe in blood relatives, I also believe that those you have around you here and now are your family. We are not all lucky to have our parent living in the same State talk less of the same Country.  Due to international laws, there are visa restrictions and even whereby that is not the issue you can’t have granny there always.

My late grandma, Mama as she was fondly called by all who knew her died in 2004. She was loving, warm and loves nothing but to spoil us rotten. My best holidays were spent with her; she specialized in giving us all the food that my mom would disapprove of, lol. Oh we loved it. She lived for God and dragged us to church 5am daily. God helps that child caught sleeping in church; a sharp painful pinch will knock some sense into you, lol. Oh yes that was my grandma.

While she was alive I didn’t realize what a legacy she was leaving behind. She was a prayer warrior, a loving grandma; she lived to serve God, her children, grandchildren and her community.  When Mama died I know then that I needed to step up my prayer life, had it not been for Mama’s prayers I simply don’t know where I would be today.

When I grow up, I already have a template for the kind of grandma I would aspire to be like. Just like my grandma – Mama, may your soul rest in perfect peace Chief Adebayo. I miss you now and always.

About Buky

Buky is a ''Desperado after God". She is married to Adey and together they are raising 3 amazing children. She is a natural encourager & she loves to share practical experiences with others. She enjoys writing, reading, dabbling in stock trading, hanging out with friends and serving the body of Christ.

14 Comments

  1. This is so touching Bukky. Your grandmother rests in Jesus’ bosom, for sure. As par your daughters, they already have grandmas. I always tell people that my relatives are not defined by mere blood. Remember what Christ said when he was told that his mom and his brothers wanted to see him? He said that his brothers and mothers and sisters were those people who did the will of his Father in heaven. Same thing applies to us. We get twisted in our thinking that true relatives are those that are related to us by blood, but the truth is that our true relatives are those related to us through a more stronger blood – which is Christ’s blood. So please let the grannies at church love your kids as much as your kids should be loved. They are your kids’ true grannies and guess what, you don’t need to pay for that kind of love…because it is Un-priceable ( for lack of a better word)

  2. aww:)! Yes, please let the “grannies” all over – church or otherwise, love them as much as possible:)! The more love in a child’s life the better imo lol! Also even if their living grandma is far away, I would suggest still encouraging a growing relationship if you are able… eg via regular phone calls for starters. My kids don’t get to see their grand parents as often as we would have liked, but we try to encourage regular phone conversations – even if they are short. They still help:).

    Have a blessed day,

    ~Bomi

  3. PS: I just wanted to add another suggestion for consideration:). My little ones also have a few other people in their lives that are “grandparent figures” to them, other than their real/biological ones who live far away… But I always try to make the distinction by not referring to these kind and sweet people as “grandpa” or “grandma”. We decide on a name for each person – for instance, one of their great aunts, who is like a grandma to them, is called “Big Aunty”. Another might be called Nana, Mama, Big Mama, etc etc:). I just feel like it’s a much cleaner solution for our family – for many different reasons. I would certainly encourage kids developing a good and growing relationship with a special elderly person, especially if their only living grandma lives far away… but maybe you could call them by a different name eg Nana or something:)? My 2 cents…

    🙂

  4. I love ,love this. Grandparents are wonderful, I can still remember the scent of my paternal grandmother, she was so strong, I used to be fearful way back then , i will snuggle up to her and forget my fears immediately , it is sad that I didn’t see her when she died , and for the last years she spent on earth. She was very prayerful, always praying for her kids and grand-kids, I know God answered every of the prayers.
    Thank you, sister mi for bringing back the memories.
    P.s:my airtime finished yesterday, will call tomorow

  5. Lara, you are quite right. They already have grannies at church. I guess i have to take into account that times have changed and as much as i want my children to experience that special bond between myself and my grandma. I just have to make do and be realistic.

    What grandparents brings to the table in a child’s life is different and refreshing. The wealth of their wisdom is incomparable.

    There are certain family histories that are lost forever and will never be re-told to my children because only Mama knew those history.

    Maybe I’m just feeling nostalgic

  6. Bomi, i hear you sister, great suggestions. Now Faith can talk better on the phone compare to before when the line gets disconnected numerous time due to her over-excitment, lol.

    Still, nothing like them being there in person!

  7. Purpleicious Babe (DOZ)

    Awwwwww God bless grandma…

  8. Touching post. It makes me wonder though…I don’t think the best grandmas (such as your lovely grandma) can be hired. Being a role-model is priceless. May your children have that kind of grandma figure in their lives, the kind that blessed you…and even more. Amen.

  9. Oohh!! ……..What a truly precious post Buky, what a great topic. The warmth and love for your grandmother oozes through your words. I thank God for the life of your grandmother, who truly lives on, through those precious wonderful memories, that you have of her.

    My grandma and grandfather lived in the West Indies, so therefore I did not have a close bond with them. When we were younger, we had many ‘grannies’ at our church, who mothered us.

    However, my mother (who lived with me after she was widowed), was a wonderful, grandmother, to all her grandchildren. I loved to observe, how she treated each grandchild, in an individual and special way. She was always there for them. They knew they could tell her anything and they valued the stories she shared with them about her life and the lives of their parents. It wasn’t until she went to be with the Lord, that my siblings and I realised how much our children, depended on their grandmother.

    God bless you more, Carole 🙂

  10. Tolu, you are taking me back memory lane, ahhahha.

  11. Jaycee, She was priceless indeed and I agree that she cant be replaced. She was so nurturing and full of stories and songs. I wished i’d pay more attention at the time.

  12. Ms Carole, You are so blessed to have had that precious time with your mom. Back in Africa we usually have our parents live with us when they are getting older and that is usually the time when the bond and histories are rekindle. My grandma also moved in us and I would hear her praying thru the night and into the early hours of the morning.

    I finally got it, she left me a legacy better than money or gold. She left me a legacy of prayer.

    Thank you for sharing your mother’s memories with me.

  13. God bless you for taking the time to read and comment.

  14. I was close to my paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather. Every time my grandfather came to visit, we would have ice cream together even though he wasn’t allowed to eat sweets. Grandparents are a blessing but those without one can still have people that fit into the role perfectly.

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