Don’t Hate Your Critics

Everyone of us has one or two; they are called the critics. They seat in judgment of you, they are the judge and jury.

I’m no different from most people; I don’t like being criticized. Overtime I’ve learnt how to better deal with it now than in the past. Some criticism are good, especially if the source is credible.

Where can you find these people? They are everywhere–in your church, at work and especially within your family.

I have come to accept that as lovable as I think I am, not everyone will like me. That is all right, it’s important that I love myself and not allow others opinion to define me.    People opinions are subjective.

It’s just too easy to dislike your critics because they criticize you. You can’t go through life only hearing what you want to hear, you won’t grow in wisdom and maturity.

“If you have no critics you’ll likely have no success.” – Malcolm X

Critics are a very important part of your journey. You will not make it without them. They will help you get to your destination faster through their negative criticism; albeit painful.

You will not believe how much criticism I’ve received since I started blogging. Usually they are from someone “anonymous” and very few to my face. One of the rules I live by is “let’s agree to disagree”
How To Deal With Your Critics
 

  • Don’t give them a platform to air their negativity – there is constructive criticism, which we can all use. There is no place for cutthroat or die-hard negative criticism on my blog.
  • Do not acknowledge them publicly – It will feed their egos and make them feel important.
  • Turn every negative criticism to a positive outcome. Your success is the best answer to your critics, far better than arguing with them will and they may learn a lesson or two in return.
  •  Never stoop to their level – no matter what. It’s very tempting, don’t take the bait!
  • Save your energy – You have nothing to prove. quit trying to make them understand your point of view. You may never change their mind or sway their opinion.
  •  Avoid letting your emotions get the better of you if you must respond to them at all. Do not engage in the war of words with them.
  •  Don’t shoot the messenger – as we say in Texas – Eat the meat and spit out the bones.
  • Grow thicker skin – you are going to need it. People can be cruel sometimes, surround yourself with positive people who can speak life into you with love.
  • Don’t take it personal – What they say about you is a reflection of who they are.

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better,…………. if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” By Theodore Roosevelt

Finally, everyone is a critic and we all needs one, deal with it. It is part of human nature and is to be expected. There will always be someone to criticize you just make sure you don’t become your own worst critic

Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you.

For you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others”. (Eccl 7:21-22 NIV)

 Question ~ How have you learnt to deal with criticism?

About Buky

Buky is a ''Desperado after God". She is married to Adey and together they are raising 3 amazing children. She is a natural encourager & she loves to share practical experiences with others. She enjoys writing, reading, dabbling in stock trading, hanging out with friends and serving the body of Christ.

9 Comments

  1. welcome back. i look forward to your posts!

  2. I like all u have said  in this post. I agree 100%. U hit the nail on the head. Gbam I agree..

    I have nothing to add other than I am maintaining the ideas/ advice u have stated above so help me God.

    I find it interesting when people find it hard to differentiate pure loving, godly criticism to pure hatred and negative criticism. They say they are speaking their minds, am I sure if that how their minds are, I seriously will not bother with convo. Why out of the abudance of ther heart comes out alot of things. Hence, trying to shift anyone’s mental state will end up draining one . No one wonder I sometimes felt emotionally drained years ago whilst constantly making effort to prove a point but maybe others have also being emotionally drained with me, trying to prove a pint. I since learnt,  not to bother. Just allow it. 

    After all, we are all subject to change. So, until then…

  3. Hi Bukky,

    This has come as a timely blog for me, I have just learnt what you have outlined here so articulately, the hard way over the weekend. I wish I didn’t fall for the “War of words” and “stooping” to their level, I learnt afterwards it wasn’t worth it. I wish I had read your blogg before my weekend encounter. You are so right!

    Going forward for me, I now know what to lookout for and avoid at all cost. 

    Regards

    Mr Phil.

  4. Omolara, you have touched on a very important point. When we engage with the wrong people, it leaves us drained! Pay attention to those people and dont engage in conversation with them. We have to be careful not to give our energy to the wrong people or conversation. It steals our joy, peace and any creative juice in us.

    Just keep still and silence, learn how to tune-out unwanted noises. That way you dont take things into your spirit. It works for me!

    Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. Much appreciation

  5. Mr Phil, Good to read your comment. Believe me, it still happens to the best of us. There will be many opportunities for you to get it right. You will “take the high road where there is less traffic”.

    Thank you for the feedback. Have a great week.

  6. Pingback: The Journey Continues – You and I Have Come A Long Way « Bukville ~ From Average To Amazing

  7. Very true…I pray God will help me not to take it personal and learn to utilize constructive criticism as I was taught in school..
    Nice post..Can I just say I love reading this space..How do I get feeds on bloggers?  have added you multiple time but no feed..

  8. Unveilinggold, we’re all learning daily.
    I will look into the feeds issue, thanks for letting me know

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