There are many types of rejection in life, some are minor and others are major with lasting effect on your life if care is not taken.
The rejection from a parent is a life-altering wound that is so deep into the marrow of your bones. It will shake your world and turn it upside-down; it will hold you captive, bound by bitterness and unforgiveness (if you let it).
It can impact your relationships with others and how you view the world. After all, if your father or mother doesn’t love you, who will?
The pain from parental rejection can be well hidden for a long time. Our emotional pain can be buried underneath many layers and it takes events such as death in the family, divorce or birth of a child to awaken the pain.
It’s every parent’s duty to love their children, but we often realize that it’s not always true. Most parents do right by their children, but then you have those who should not be allowed to have pets talk less of children.
The traditional family dynamics is fast becoming obsolete with less intimacy in the age of the computer and technology. Parents are working longer hours, past retirement age due to unstable economy. While some entered into parenting without full knowledge and preparation and simply can’t cope.
Parenting is not for the selfish, ego driven, attention seeking narcissistic individuals.
Regardless of age and status, everyone desires love from their parents. The sad truth is some parents are just not capable of loving back. They may use and abuse you; the more you try to seek their love and validation, the more hurt you will be.
So what shall we do then?
Forgive them and seek the Father’s love. Only the love of God can heal your wounds. God’s love brings total restoration and will create in you a new heart and empathy for the parent(s) who hurt you and for others.
How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.
You feed them from the abundance of your own house, letting them drink from your river of delights. (Psalm 36:7-8)
Forgiveness is the doorway to healing. When we forgive those that have abandoned, abused and hurt us, we give God permission to heal every pain and He would show us the gains from our pain.
Don’t be one of the hurting people who have built walls around their wounds and the wounds have not been allowed to heal.
Don’t let unforgiveness from the past destroy your future. Unforgiveness will keep one in bitterness and to be critical of others. Without God healing our wounds,we may end up being the very person we don’t want to be. God has commanded to walk in love as He is love, to forgive as we’d been forgiven, to live peaceably with others …among other things.
True forgiveness can only come when we surrender it all to God. Forgiveness doesn’t come to us naturally but when we are in Christ, we are new creatures and we can do all things!
We also know forgiveness and healing does take time so we have to constantly rely on God. Being human we would miss the mark often, but we must stay committed to living our life-like the One who has adopted us.
Jesus our great example – High Priest.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)
Jesus suffered rejection from family (John 7:5), in His home town, by some of His disciples and religious leaders.
Find your identity in God’s word.
See yourself as God sees you. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Embrace your new identity
God is your Father – How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1).
Accept that they may never change or acknowledged their misdeeds. Let it go and move on.
Boundaries are there for your protection and to let others know how to treat you and behave around you. Seek God for your healing, seek God for your validation, and seek God because He is waiting for you to call upon Him.
Your refusal to deal with this can lead to strongholds over your life.
Ultimately only the love of God can fill the void in your heart. Receive His unfailing and unconditional love today.