Get Desperate With God And Get MARRIED.

One of the questions people ask me once I share my testimony with them about marriage is, “What did you do to finally marry the right person?”

My answer is always the same. I got desperate and serious with God.

We all tend to think what we’ve been through is not a big deal, but it is. Especially if you come out smelling of the goodness of God, it is a super-duper BIG DEAL.

I will never take God’s blessings for granted, ever!

So I was at a stage in my life that I had everything else going for me except for one thing. Marriage. I was in my mid-30’s and that was the only thing missing from my life. I didn’t want another career or another weight loss idea. I didn’t need a manicure and pedicure, or a designer bag. I didn’t want another expensive holiday. Not even more money could fill that yearning that I had to be married and have children.

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No More Cleavage In The House Of God

Well, I know some people will be offended by this post. That is all right. The truth sometimes hurts. Ouch!

My intention is not to offend but to bring awareness and correction to something that is an ongoing issue in our churches today.

I have lived on 3 continents; Africa, Europe and North America. Its is the same issue all over. This is not just an America issue.

If we call ourselves Christians, shouldn’t we act like one? Christian means to be Christ-like. Are you truly portraying Christ in the way you dress?

The line that once distinguished Christians from non Christians has become severely blurred. 

It is easier to judge those in the world for their bad behaviors. They don’t know any better. They are not saved and their minds are not renewed. What then shall we say of our fellow sisters in the Lord showing off their blessed assurance for all to see? Are they still in the world, too? 1 Timothy 2:9 says, “ I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety.” Continue reading

Here Is To You, Sister Dearest.

My sister’s name is Shade. She is married to my wonderful brother-in-law, Andrew, and together they have 3 lovely Children.

She is a couple of years older than me; yet she continues to claim that she is only about 30 year old. Yeah right! That would make me, what? I will spare her and not reveal her true age. She looks great for her age and a mom of three, too.

Growing up together we were never close. She and I were like night and day. She was the straight A student and I was not. She was the perfect daughter who would always abide by our parents’ rules and regulations. I did not.

Sister Dearest

She never rebelled. I did. I almost never heard her curse while we were growing up. I did curse her out a lot and she gave me some of the best beatings of my life!!! Ouch! She didn’t talk much back then. She used one-liners, like “Stop it or I will whoop you.” Of course I didn’t listen. So she bashed me over the head. I just thought she was jealous and miserable. True, there was a lot to be jealous of. I was a spoiled little brat, I had a big mouth on me, I was rude and disrespectful, and I was doing badly at school. Yeah, I can see why she was so envious. NOT.

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Does Mama Really Knows Best?

As I was bathing my little Bishop, that is my son’s nick name, David. David is only 16 months and super cute, am not just saying that because I’m his mom! You betcha he’s a handsome little fella with the biggest smile. 

My mind begins to wander while I stared into his smiling face, questions rushing thru my mind. One of the questions was Does Mama Really Knows Best? 

It got me thinking about my mother, then about myself now a mother of 2 children. Do I really know what is best for them?

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20 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship

Women are sometimes confused with what is classified as an abusive behavior. It is not until he physically hits you, then you realize that you are being abused. There are obvious signs along the way; you chose to ignore it, even though your friends and family can see it.

Call it whatever name you want to emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, and domestic abuse. Abuse is abuse.

Often, it is kept as a secret because women usually blame themselves and they feel ashamed that they have permitted it.

Look, it happens to people, period! You name it; even to the most educated and intelligent person. Yes, you can have PhD, MBA… and still make bad choice in a partner.  It is no reflection on you being the weaker vessel. Usually the abusive person has issues, not you. Ok so you are the enabler in the name of “love”. Oh please! Not the “I love him all over again”.

Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that you should give up on your life. Just because you want, love in your life does not mean that you should permit someone to abuse you

That is what we do when we allow other people to hurt us and we stay with them. In the US once you are 18 years and above, the law considers you are capable of making certain decisions for yourself. So GROW up and take charge of your life!

Signs to look for.

1. Friends and families can’t stand him

2. He tells you that your friends are no good and he makes it almost impossible for you to have any friends. – He tells you what to wear.

3. He robbed you of your self-esteem and dignity by constantly telling you that you are; fat and ugly, no one else will have you. You should be happy and grateful you have him, you are nothing.

4. He destroy your personal pictures, wedding pictures and destroys heirlooms.

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Submission

While visiting Dallas this week, we worshipped at Potter’s House in Dallas with Bishop TD Jakes, it was awesome, and we had a great time. I have always wanted to visit Potter’s House and experience it live and I was not disappointed at all. The Bishop was there while the praise and worship was phenomenal.

Bishop taught on Submission, whenever I have heard sermons on submission it  is usually from a marriage perspective. I thought that was the angle he was going to teach from, oh boy! Was I wrong?

“For women at times, we don’t want to hear another sermon on submission. I don’t have issues with that topic at all; I learnt years ago that you cannot submit to a man until you submit to God first”

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Before “I Do” – Part 3 In-laws

 

In-laws to most but Outlaws to a few!

Why discuss in-laws before marriage?

In-laws come with the marriage, whether you like it or not. It is like living in Texas, you do not have a choice about the sales tax,  you just pay it.

When you marry, you do not only marry that person you get the entire family. You just cannot ignore that these people exist; you are going to have to form a relationship with them. If only because it makes your partner happy knowing how important they are to him.

Deal with it, your partner did not fall from the sky, someone gave birth to him, loved him, nurtured him and he will not be the person that he is today without those people in his life. Just like you have parents that love and care for you, same goes for him too.

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Before “I Do” – Part 2 Sex

There is no easy way to broach this subject, so we might as well just dive into it.

It is just 3 letters, S-E-X, yet very powerful.

When I first mentioned to my friend Sade that I will be writing about the types of questions you should ask before you say “I Do” and mentioned “sex”, she was somewhat surprised that these questions will be brought up before marriage – and I know exactly where she’s coming from.

As a born again and spirit filled Christian that is not engaging or participating in anything of a sexual nature before wedlock, how can you talk about

S-E-X?

Well, there are ways to talk about sex without it being sexual. This is not a conversation to have in your “boudoir” with Marvin Gaye music playing in the background. You must be conscious of every appearance of evil. Continue reading

Before “I DO” – Part 1 Money

 

There are many grey areas to be discussed before you say “I DO”. It is a well-known

fact that some of the reasons for marital problems are;

1, Money issues,

2, Sex,

3, In-Laws (outlaws!),

4, Religion,

5, Children.

Most people are not comfortable talking about money or sex. Hence, why the right questions are not asked before they say I do.

No wonder after you get married, you can discover that you have been lied to. Could it be that you did not ask the right question? Continue reading

SOS:Calling All Stay-At-Home-Mom

In any given economy, there is a groups of people who has to stay alert and vigilant; the Stay-At-Home-Moms (SAHM).

Many moms are likely to be blindsided without a plan B… Everyone must have a plan B. It doesn’t matter how much income your spouse is earning now, if you don’t have at least 6 months savings to cover all your monthly living expenses in any given economy you might just find yourself homeless.

It’s unfortunate but bad things do happen to good people. Mothers mean well, we put all our focus on the home and children. We forget to take good care of ourselves and we neglect our pension & contribution to social security.

We bury our heads in the cloud and don’t face the reality of our lives. That reality is that mostly our husband is the main bread-winner. No one prays for bad things to ever happen to his job or health. Well, sometime these things do happen.

So today I’m sounding the alarm, please WAKE UP. We can avoid or at least reduce the impact of a surprise from happening.

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Planted and flourishing in the Church

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3178826&id=562290836

The first church I ever attended was chosen by my parents, I continued attending the denomination for the next 17 years of my life.

The second church I attended was while I was living in London. I went with a friend and I loved it!! It’s the praise and worship that gets me all the time.

The church was fun and full of life. The first time I ever saw young people serving God and making it look cool, oh yes; I wanted to be a cool God worshiper!

So, fast forward many years later, I have learnt a thing or two about churches: Why it’s important to attend the right church for you and not because your fore fathers attended the church or big mama paid for the bench and pulpit.

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Who do you say that I am?

Who is God to you and I? Is it possible that you know the God preached to you by your Pastor, parents and Sunday school’s teacher?

The first 16yrs of my life, I attended the church my parent chose. I didn’t know much about God, the little I knew of Him was to be afraid of Him. The picture I had of Him was just not good at all. Continue reading

2010 – The Year Of "DOING IT"

Most people start the year with a set of goals and vision for 2010. I certainly had a list too and I usually end the previous year taking time out to take note of what I was able to accomplish and which ones I will be adding on to the oncoming year’s list.

I have gotten to that stage that I have run out of excuses why I am unable to do this or that! There are no more excuses for me because I noticed that every year I seem to have one excuse or the other. My initial excuse was because I got pregnant, but now that the baby has arrived, I have no more excuses.

 

Enough is enough, it’s time to grow up and be an adult. There will always be something that prevents us from achieving our goals if we let it and I do understand that live is about seasons but you should be able to recognize what season you are in so that you can set realistic goals.

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Seasons: Do You Understand What Season You Are In?

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Definition: a period; a period of the year characterized by particular conditions of weather, temperature, etc

 

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I Finally Caught The Mission Bug.

For as long as I have been around church folks, attending churches and being a Christian. It wasn’t until 2006 that i finally caught it.

I am excited and looking forward to my first mission trip. I don’t have one planned yet but I know it’s only a matter of time.

It all began in 2006 when we started attending Houston Worship Centre. There were always talks of someone going on mission trips or just returning from one. Our pastor, Pastor Randy Needham, would allow them to give us update regarding their trip.

One thing they had in common, was that look on their faces, like they saw God on that trip. Honestly there was always something about them. Oh well, I would think to myself, that is surely not for me, I am one of those that will send people on mission not go on that mission. I was very happy to financially support ministries to go on missions but I just didn’t have any desires at all.

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Why Do You Forgive?

To each person, we forgive for different reasons. The Bible says in Colossians 3:13 (NIV) that,

“13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

There are so many reasons why it is good to forgive, regardless of what the other person have done to us. It’s easier also said than done! Am sure by now we all know it’s just not cool when you are the one on the receiving end of someone else wickedness.

I know that in the past, I have caused others pain, whether knowingly or unknowingly. I have come to regret the once am aware of, even the once am not aware of; I have since ask God for forgiveness.”

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The Truth About Marriage Your Married Friends Are Not Telling You.

Don’t get me wrong marriage is great, I am very happy with mine but there are some truths to marriage that are not told.

Most times, you will only find out during divorce how miserable the relationship was, even though at the time they appeared like the perfect couple! 

I only believe in the Godly kind of marriage, based on Christ kind of love. Not marriage based on status or financial gain.

There are different kinds of marriages out there; you will be amazed that your motives for getting married might be different from your partner.

You better ask the right questions before you do it, just don’t assume that their motives are the same as yours.

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Joseph, The Forgotten.

Little is written about Joseph the carpenter, the father of Jesus. Joseph represents: A man of great courage, integrity, obedience and great faith. These are qualities one should look out for in a man.

Nothing could have prepared him for the route his life took. Let us travel in Joseph’s shoes for a moment.  In his late teens, Joseph fell in love with a maiden by the name Mary, with the hope that they will get married. I guess they are just like normal teenagers in their time, excited about what the future will be ahead for them.

I bet not in a million years did they think that their lives would change the way it did. Just like you and I today, some of the things we had being or going through, we never thought we would be where we are today. Reality is always different from what we imagined; reality is what we all do, not fantasy.      Continue reading