Well, I know some people will be offended by this post. That is all right. The truth sometimes hurts. Ouch!
My intention is not to offend but to bring awareness and correction to something that is an ongoing issue in our churches today.
I have lived on 3 continents; Africa, Europe and North America. Its is the same issue all over. This is not just an America issue.
If we call ourselves Christians, shouldn’t we act like one? Christian means to be Christ-like. Are you truly portraying Christ in the way you dress?
The line that once distinguished Christians from non Christians has become severely blurred.
It is easier to judge those in the world for their bad behaviors. They don’t know any better. They are not saved and their minds are not renewed. What then shall we say of our fellow sisters in the Lord showing off their blessed assurance for all to see? Are they still in the world, too? 1 Timothy 2:9 says, “ I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety.”
The church is no longer a safe place for the saints. All week-long you deal with all sorts at work and on television. Then you go to church to praise the Lord, still you can’t get away from it.
It is called the CLEAVAGE. It is everywhere because some women can’t just help but bring them out for all to see!
God, help the brothers who are coming to church on Sundays. It’s right in their faces. Then sisters are surprised when a brother goes to another church to find his wife. Go figure!
Try keeping your female parts to yourself. Just maybe that brother will give you a second look.
Your body belongs to God. 1 Corinthians 6:19 says, “ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.”
If we can all see your cleavage, what else are you showing to the world? Certainly not your brain!
Ladies, in the name of God wear a bra. Wear your size. Our bodies change after childbirth, after loosing weight or putting on weight. Go to a bra specialist and get fitted at least once a year. Select a bra that does not show your nipples (might as well not wear a bra).
Get some camisoles. These are wardrobe basic essentials – colors in white and black will do for starters.
Ladies if you are on the big side, you can’t wear some of the latest fashions. But you can still look classy without looking cheap and trashy.
The spirit of Jezebel is alive in the church. She comes out every Sunday with her guns on display. Her main agenda is to distract the saints, not just the men. We see you ladies and we are not fooled one bit.
Am tired of sisters acting like its nothing. Like it’s no big deal. You are misrepresenting yourselves when you have the ‘girls’ on display like that.
You are missing out on being invited out because of the ‘girls’. You will be passed over for promotion because you make people uncomfortable. You will not find gainful employment easily. Men will reach the wrong conclusion about you and only the wrong type will approach you with wrong intentions.
You can still be beautiful without exposing all your “blessed assurance”. Learn to adorn yourself the proper way that brings Glory to God. There should be a distinction between the children of light and the children of darkness.
Just because you were once in the world doesn’t mean you should stay there. Leave the past behind and embrace your future. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
This doesn’t just apply to single women. There are married women parading themselves, too. Oh My Lord! What happened to the strong men of valor? Husbands, arise and be the men that God called you to be and grow some back-bone. Speak to your wife about her appearance. Before long you will have your daughters cleavage in your face too. Remember “as goes the mother, so goes the daughter”.
Where are our mothers? Titus 2:4-5 says, “Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Are you really trying to win souls for Christ or send them to hell? What do you hope to achieve?
Majority of the culprits are not the new “born again Christians”. Isn’t that something? They are the old timers. They have been around so long that sometimes people are used to their bad behavior. Maybe they are afraid to confront them in order not to offend. How long will this go on? For another decade?
These poor Pastors preaching on the pulpit are struggling with the amount of cleavage in their faces. Ladies leave your cleavage at home, please. THANK YOU.
I am not jealous. I am appalled. I am blessed in the cleavage department myself. Some may say I am “super and double blessed”.
Lastly, whatever happened to Holiness? 1 Pet 1:14-16 says, “As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do. For it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.
What do you think? Am I just being old school? Am I out of touch? Or is this just the ranting of stay-at-home-mom with nothing better to do with her time?
You tell me. Bring it on!
Makes sense lol.!!!!
Tell it sista!!!! Listen, you are neither 'old school' nor are you 'out of touch' !!! The point is – sisters, leave your cleaveages at home…… Teachings like this need to be fired up in churches and if you are like me….. don't be bothered by being called old school or out of touch… In our dressing, there should be a difference if we are truly sisters!!!!!
Go Sister Go!!!
Amen…needs to be taught at home but is not..so needs to be taught in church at least to the leadership..Good Word.
Amen and very well said! Leeway is a given for new believers however, mature saints should know and abide by the word
My 2 cents, since ya asked.
It's just an opinion. I'm not gonna argue my point, I'm just making a statement.
Here goes:
As long as our focus does not get too wound up in outward appearance, to the point that the new believer or those who a…re just coming in are left feeling unwanted or scorned for coming "just as they are"!
That's a fine line to try and draw. I understand where you are coming from, but I also have seen how a judgmental spirit can set up camp in churches to where when the very people we may be trying to reach come in the church, they feel unwelcome and judged.
EX: women who work in 'gentlemen's club's' (you know what I am referring to) they have a different standard of dress and what they feel may be appropriate, a few "well meaning sisters" may very well NOT feel it's appropriate and the 'sized up and judged' looks of the well meaning sisters, as well as possibly a comment to them may run them off.
There is a balance I know. And if all you are speaking to is the 'old' Christian woman who should know better, then fine. But as for the new Christians, we have to give them room and space to be able to make mistakes and for the HOLY Spirit to bring correction to areas of their life that need correcting. I know the Word spoken IN LOVE makes a platform for the HS to begin convicting, but we must be very careful and always remember "LET EVERYTHING be done IN LOVE"! Not in judgement.
Said in the wrong tone or spirit – We will accopmlish nothing but running off the very people who need HIM desperately!
Also, not everyone advances at the same rate. So there maybe Christians that we think should know better already, but they may not. We have no idea what other area's God has been working with them on that is far greater a problem than their bustline showing.
We have to be comfortable around any and every kind of person in order to really go into the "MARKET PLACES" of the world and reach those who may otherwise never darken a church door
And people wonder why guys are talking to those torpedos on their chest that never talk back instead of talking to the individual carrying them. I completely agree with you, we can still look chic and sexy if i may without looking trashy. Keep speaking the truth girl. It needs to be heard.
What is most worrying is, these ladies are wonderful when you get to know them in person. Sometimes in life you are not given a second chance based on appearance. It is a gross misrepresentation of who they are.
I once watch Mike Murdock talked about how he corrected a guy for shabby dressing and untidy appearance. Some people told him he shouldn’t have spoken to him that way. Yes this guy went for a job interview looking rough. Mike Murdock told him he wont get the job because God was not the one hiring him but man.
Our outwards appearance matters and it speaks volume about our character.
Blimey, thank you once again. Let us keep talking and sharing the truth. Regardless of what others think.
This is a very funny piece but so true. We really need to come dressed properly to the house of God. I totally agree that you send out the wrong information when you have half of your boobs out. Funny enough, i've had this conversation with some Xtians and they don't believe there's anything wrong with dressing improperly to Church. Their belief is that God only looks at the heart and not the outward appearance.
Doyin,
Yes, it is true that God looks only at the heart and not the outward appearance. We also have a responsiblity to each other not to allow others to sin by our acts. My main concern is whatever happen to holiness. As Christians our standards are not the same as the world and we cannot conform to the world standard which is what i see happening. We should press toward Holiness and righteousness.
I had fun writing this piece and i thank you for taking the time to read it and leaving a comment to.
Buky am happy someone is speaking out on this topic. Its actually long overude considering what people i mean so called people of God do in the name of fashion. Ummmmm God is watching us from a distance……..
B, how are you and your family?
I love this post!!!
I concur on "I am not jealous. I am appalled. I am blessed in the cleavage department myself. Some may say I am “super and double blessed”."
Jokes apart, we all cherish the beauty of a woman, curves and all. BUT, and note capitalised but, to have it thrown in our faces is despicable.
It's not just cleavages B. Some if the above-the-knee skirts in the house of God are a serious no-no.
What had happened to standards? I think some females have lost the sense of appearance.
I make a simple analogy. In Jewish communities, it is forbidden fir females to wear a skirt that has the hemline above the knee, and must not be body-hugging. I'm not advocating our women dress up the same but we should maintain a standard.
It's nice to see beauty but in moderation. It's nice to be well presented. But then again everyone has their own motive. God knows.
So, please our dear female homo sapiens, moderation is essential.
Femi thank you! Yes, beauty in moderation. God already created sisters to be beautiful without even trying hard.
Thanks for taking the time.
Good Subject Buky! I want to give my point of view concerning two different issues.
#1-The Christian woman who becomes involved in any type of volunteer ministry,staff or leadership role in her local church becomes accountable to that local… church leadership.
#2- the chiristian or non-christian woman who comes to your church off the streets or unchurched or young in the Lord or needs emotional,spiritual healing etc. due to her past or present circumstances.
#1
I believe when a christian woman submits herself to a volunteer ministry,leadership role,staff or any type of helps in the church she then becomes accountable to the rules that church puts forth such as modest dress guidelines but more importantly what the Word of God says about modest dress.That woman is representing not only Her Lord whom she is accountable to as 1st in her life but also very importantly her local church. If she cannot submit to these two areas then she is not ready to represent Jesus or the local church in her area of service. The word says everything you do you should do it as unto the Lord and not unto man.When the heart is submitted to the Lord's word in that area of dress then submitting yourself to the dress code or rules of your church will easily follow!
#2
However it is very important for us (and I know you believe this too) not to judge, condemn or look down upon the woman who walks into the doors of a church who is not dressed modestly—has a skirt or dress barely covering her up or cleavage etc. We want that woman to know that she is loved unconditionally and accepted no matter how she looks or dresses.There will always be women and Yes those that are christians too that will come into our doors hurting and ready to give up on life so the last thing they are thinking about is how they are dressed—they just want to make it thru another day and looking for answers—then there are those who are just rebelling with a chip on their shoulder BUT The Holy Spirit thru the word of God preached and taught from the pulpit and the love of Jesus thru we believers for her will bring change from the inside out NOT from the outside in.Love Never Ever Fails! In time the Lord will perfect that behavior and then the fruit will be seen of more modest dress. It is a process and no one perfects behavior better than the Holy Spirit working in and thru that person in union with the Word of God that is alive powerful and sharper than any two edged sword. We love them and God changes them thru the Word and The Holy Spirit. I could say more but this is long enough.Love Ya Buky!!
The word says, " 1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (NIV)."
-I believe Chritians have conformed to the ways of the world.
-We don't see God's view.
-We have taken HIS mercy for granted
-We have offered our bodies as an unholy sacrifice
-We are not renewing our minds but allowing the world to renew our minds
-That's why we do not see HIS will for us
This has raised alot of eyebrows in Churches but no one has completely understood the reason why this is not good. In my Church, before the wedding day, the Brides are asked to bring their dresses. If it is too low in the front the Bride has to change it.
This past Sunday, I was still telling myself, why, whyyyyyyyyyy. Nice looking girl, wore a dress but it was so tight, it squeezed the front part of her cleavage. I mean they were just out there, I could not believe it. I have told someone look your panty is showing, please cover up. I mean and so on. Phew! don't let me get started.
Yetunde, I feel you totally. We just have to continue to pray and if God gives us the opportunity to talk to them in love, to guide them toward what is right.
Thanks you for sharing your thots.
Thank you all for your comments, interesting discussion!
New converts are to be given leeway and that is why they are not the main focus, but will benefit from taking this to heart as well.
If parents dont do it the body of Christ should.
…
In the world when you work for a company, you have to abide by their code of conduct. If you dont, you might lose your job. We abide by the standard because of a pay check.
As Christians, our code of conduct is the bible, it is the final authority. Shouldnt believers adhere to it? Or do we preach one doctrine to one set and another to others?
Shall we continue in sin and expect grace to abound, God forbid!
What is bad is bad, no judgement or condemnation intended. By all means, let us do it in love, but at what point do we draw the line?
Ladies want respect from men, then please respect yourselves first. We teach people how to treat us. How long do we give the culprit? If someone keeps turning up at church drunk and high on drugs how long before they are escorted out of church? Sin is sin.
Let us not allow a little leaven to influence the whole lump.
Bukky,
Nice piece and well-spoken, I however love Kelly and Diane's comments the most.
Not only am I also appalled by the way some ladies dress to church, I find it very repulsive but as a man of God rightly said ''you cant turn patients away from receiving treatment at the hospital, they come to the hospital because they are sick''. Like it or not, anyone who dresses to expose her body in an indecent manner does not possess a renewed mind. Something is happenning in their minds that is making them react that way outwardly. Therefore, the best treatment is what they have come to receive :- the WORD of God. To condemn them(Note:there's a difference b/w condemning the action and the ''actor'') is like the shepherd ignoring the one lost sheep and blaming him for straying away in the first place.
Since we all feel so strongly about this, let us take it upon ourselves to find a solution to the problem. How can we minister to people in our own little way or act as role models to other women?? How can we create an atmosphere of love while also setting a standard based on biblical principles? You would be surprised how much God can through each of us if we make an attempt to go out of our way to reach out to these people or even pray for them.
As the hospital is for the sick, so is the church for messed up people; you'd be surprised how messed up people's minds are especially with all the junk flying around everywhere.
Cheers!
Hi Tolu,
Love, love your comment! This is one of the things am enjoying from this dialogue, sharing ideas and learning from one another. That balance is what we all need God to teach us, even the church dont know the best way of handling this issue. Am sure they dont want to be called judgemental, out of touch and turning away the lost sheep. The people that am actually talking about are not the newcommers. They are the old timers, I guess the lenght of time one have been serving the Lord you would expect some changes to have taken place. Still who am I to judge anyone, that was never my intention. Lord helps us all to learn and grow daily.
Thanks for taking the time, i love reading your comments. Its good to disagree sometimes. Have a blessed week
Well put.
I was one of the 'new christians' who left a church after being humiliated for my one-shouldered top. I had just lost a child and been dumped by the baby's father. Church seemed like the only place to find peace and be whole again. But walked in, sat down and was immediately ushered out like a leper. Felt so unclean, lost and unwelcome, cried on the tube (london subway) all the way home. I was treated like a prostitute who had set out to seduce the brothers – the absolute last thing on my mind. Don't get me wrong, there should be a modesty code in church but it first must be a safe haven of love, compassion, understanding and empathy for lost or damaged souls to find comfort. Only from that position, can we really effect change.
Buky – love the piece. Awesome as ever. :)
Quitespirit, I am so sorry to hear about your child and baby's father. I cant just imagine your state of mind when you went to church hoping to find solace and comfort. Only to be thrown out and rejected. My sincere apologies to you and I hope that you have found it in your heart to forgive those in question.
Yes, there is a place for modesty in the church but there is also a place for love, compassion and empathy for anyone who enters the church. I hope you know that Jesus never rejects anyone based on their appearance and all should be welcomed in the house of our Lord.
My post was to the mature Christians who knows better and are bad examples to younger ones. When truly we experience God in our lives, we see changes and transformation in all areas of our lives. Not just in our appearances but also in our words.
Thank you for sharing your experience and I know that others will also learn from this on how to treat people regardless of the way they are dressed.
Dear bukky, I thank God for this and I pray that our heart cry will get to the heart and ears of the concerns. That sin(cleavage exposure) will be condemned on all pulpits where the risen christ is preached,
Omotayo,
Thank you for stopping by and contributing to this intersting dialogue. Hope to see you around soon again.
Hi Buky, I've read your article and the corresponding responses. I totally understand where you're coming from. I believe you're addressing mature Christians who still don't portray themselves in the light of what's the decent, right and co…rrect conduct as a child of God especially in church.
I believe there's already an understanding of the place of new Christians and those others your readers have highlighted. I once taught new believers and their dressing and conduct never surprised me but I would be worried if they stay the same. What I find questionable are those who should know better and who ought to be good examples.
The church is like a laundromat so dirty clothes come in BUT should dirty clothes go out? That, I believe is the question. We who know better should lead the way and prayerfully, with godly wisdom show others the way.
I don't believe in being judgmental but at the same time I don't believe in looking the other way. And you're right, the men are being bombarded even in church by nudity. I guess, we married ones are more sensitive to these issues also.
Thank you for this write-up. I agree with you and I pray we keep the light shinning.
Thank you for your comment, may we continue to speak the truth even when it is not popular.
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Can I copy your article to my blog? Thank you.
Thanks for asking for permission. Yes, pls go ahead but give credit with a link back to me, cheers!!!
Buky,
It's really about time more and more ladies get to realize their indecent exposure of their cleavages.
A few weeks ago, my Pastor's wife said she just had to address the women in the church regarding this same issue. She reported that the married ones when asked regarding the exposure, said that their husbands love and want them dressing up that way. hmm….l think not! I feel they dress up to remind their husbands that 'mummy' has enough 'ice cream' and they don't need to admire any other one out there. Also l feel it is to scare away the husband snatchers. They can still look very attractive without exposing their 'blessed assurance'
Like you said, this unacceptable act is a sign of the end time, the jezebel spirit has been welcomed into the church. Thus, Spirit-filled pastors and group leaders need to continually instill discipline in the house of God. It should be a place to uphold my faith and receive grace not a place to get tempted or distracted.