Back in middle school, my math teacher asked us a very profound question – What do you want to be when you grow up? While, everyone in my class was eager with excitement to answer. I was drawing blank. For the first time in my life I realized that I didn’t know what I wanted to become.
In order not to look stupid I said ” I want to be an Air Hostess”. Even though I can’t swim and I had a fear of water. Yep that was what I was going to become!
Ever since then that question has hunted me. It’s affected a lot of the decision I made. Through out my working life I continued to see the importance of knowing.
I learnt that working for money only brought me temporary happiness that never lasted.
In the 80’s and 90’s the IT buzz was in full gear. I jumped on the bandwagon and before you could say Jack Robinson I had enrolled and completed a course in Software Testing.
Once again I had made that decision because of its high earning potential. On completing the course, employers were lining up to hire Test Analyst.
I attended 3 interviews and I was offered 2 of the position. I walked out of those interview feeling taller each time. I have finally arrived; this surely must be my Promised Land.
It was the best salary I have ever earned. Yet, I felt like a fraud and about to be exposed. I knew it was not my passion but I was hopeful. You never know until you try something right?
After 3 months those same old feelings started to creep up again. You know when it takes all the will power in the world just to get out of bed in the morning.
You start checking your watch frequently and can’t believe how slow the day is going. Talk about eating to kill time and boredom.
Software testing turned out not to be for me, surprise surprise! I had never been in so many meetings in my life. I hated it and felt guilty that I had taken someone else job. It was time to shake off my shoes yet again.
Power Of Words
I had an epiphany in 2002. I’d always been searching for “my career” and when I changed the word to “Calling” things have never been the same.
I am not after another job that pays the right salary till I’m bored again. I am after my calling. Wow! Light-bulb moment.
I am after my passion/purpose/calling. Something that will excites me and bring me fulfillment. I am done moving from paycheck to paycheck.
Time To Break The Cycle.
The quest for the holy grail of my life has just begun. I was looking everywhere for my calling. I read books that promised to help me find it. I didn’t find it there.
My search for my calling took me to Bible School and using the service of a Life Coach. I made leaps and bounce in the right direction. Then I discovered Day-Trading and soon I realized that wasnt it either.
Life happens
Life happens and it does to the best of us. At one time it became less important on my list of priorities. Since I didn’t know my calling I might as well get on and do other things such as marriage and children.
What I have learnt on this journey to self-employment is that the jobs and different careers I had embarked on were not bad choices. I was fortunate to have great employers and worked with wonderful colleague but it wasn’t for me.
9 To 5 Is Not For ME.
I am an employer trying to be an employee. I can’t be stuck behind a desk. I ache to get up and do other things instead of being stuck in a strange building only having an hour for lunch break.
I see 9 to 5 as a day release prison; where you clock-in and out to go home, spend some time with friends and family. Only to repeat the cycle all over again.
I have always known that there is something else and for the most time I have also felt its closer to me than ever.
But what is it?
This time around I have put myself highest on my priority list. I am hearing so loud within my spirit to ‘’get ready, ‘’get ready, ‘’get ready’’.
I hear the sound of the “call” louder daily; I can no longer ignore it but to honor it.
Question ~ Are you hearing the sound too?
{This is part of a series chronicling My Journey To Self-Employment}
Looking forward to part 3 – Thanks for sharing:)!
Thanks Bomi, the follow up is now posted. Are you sensing the call.
oh, I’m certainly hearing it ma’am…thanks again.
Justdoyin. You and me both Sis! Next post is Are your sensing the call?
‘But,what is it?’ that’s the million dollars question i still ask myself too, sighs.
Apologies for my tardiness. The million dollars question that we must all answer. I hope in this series that you will gain clarity to what your call is.
i changed my job about six months ago to a job that pays triple of what i was earning before but the funny thing is i like my former job better. i found that wierd.
Lanre, It is always easier to look back and gain better perspective. Give yourself more time and you may end up loving it. The lessons you will learn from this experience will help you to make a better decision next time in the future. Thank you for sharing your experience and I know many others will learn from it that more money sometimes dont deliver the happiness we seek in our work.
Again, I see shades of myself and I am encouraged to see the process and learn from it rather than just looking to an end.
Indeed “career” must give way to “calling” and as God molds us, we will fulfill our calling. I believe that in itself will be another journey, hence the importance of the “process” and not being too fixated on the “end”
I am glad that this post ministered to you and you were able to see shades of yourself. Until we all flesh out our “calling” we remain restless.
Choosing to submit myself to the process of discovering my calling has added years to my life and the veil is removed. I see possibilities in the impossible and I’m no longer waiting for doors to be opened for me. I am knocking down every wall that presents itself to give way to fulfilling His Call.
All that you need for the journey is already deposited inside of you. Its within you, dig deep and draw it out!