Before “I Do” – Part 4 Religion

This entry is part 4 of 4 in the seriesBefore "I Do"

Religion has been at the root of so many problems; your relationship is not exempt from it also.

So you think love will conquer all, I don’t need to discuss religion? After all, we are both of the same religion? Hmm, which is what exactly?

It’s important for couples to make sure they share the same religious beliefs, similar values, and life goals. Your marriage has a higher chance of making it, being of the same faith.

Just because you are of the same “religion OR faith” does not exempt you from having the discussion.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 2 Cor 2:14 (NKJV)

Christianity is a broad term that covers several denominations. Even those who do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ often call themselves a Christians.

Your faith affects all areas of your life. You don’t have two lives, just the one. After you get married two becomes one, and his decisions will affect you.

A house divided against itself will not stand Mark 3:25.

God has given us a choice; to choose life or death. Deut 30:19

The choice is yours to make; as you make your bed you will lie on it. Ignorance is not an excuse and you will pay for the choices you make today, later!

There are many reasons to be equally yoked; I will give you just a few reasons.

No.1 – God is first always. When you marry an ungodly person you have chosen to live by their ungodly ways and lifestyle.

When you put God first in your marriage He helps you navigate the stormy roads ahead. There will be stormy and challenging times ahead of you, every marriage gets tested.

Women especially need to choose wisely. Your husband is your covering, he is the gatekeeper of your family and when he is missing in action he leaves room for an attack on the family.

No.2 – Raising children. Are you prepared to raise your children in the way of the world? There is a high likelihood of your children following in the step of the spouse who isn’t serving God. They may soon decide to stay home instead of attending church with you. Who is going to back you up?

No.3 – Unity and Agreement. There are so many major decision couples have to make, and not being of the same faith make those decisions much more difficult because you have different viewpoints.

Questions to discuss

Which church would you attend together – It is customary to attend the groom’s church but that is not written in stone and should be discussed especially in the case of relocation.

Tithes – this is 10% of the income and should be discussed, especially if you are going to have a joint account.

Offerings and supporting good causes.

What about raising children? Or having children?

When you were growing up, did your family belong to a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque?

How important is it to you for your partner to share your religious beliefs?

How active do you plan to be in a church after we get married?

Will you want to be married in a certain denominational or religious tradition?

This check list is a guide and may seem mundane. However, think how stressful, time-wasting and financially draining it would be dealing with lawyers, divorce papers and separation of assets. If you do the work now there will be very few surprises later while you enjoy each other’s company, whispering sweet nothings to one-another. 

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of pre-marital counseling. If your church offers pre-marital counsel take advantage of it. Common issues can easily be addressed and resolved ahead of time

10 Benefits to being equally yoked

  1. Decision making is much easier.
  2. Unity and agreement which create peace and harmony in marriage.
  3. Mutual love and respect. It is easier to honor and submit.
  4. Spiritual growth – Iron sharpens iron. My husband and I pray regularly search the scripture for answers. We are mutually supportive of each other’s spiritual growth.
  5. Church attendance – by attending the same church together we hear the same message and are headed in the same direction.
  6. Our children see us living out our faith daily and they follow suit without any confusion. They have a godly heritage.
  7. A supportive community of people of the same faith.  
  8. Conflicts are quickly resolved.
  9. Alcohol, drug, Pornographic free zone – our home is alcohol, drug, and pornographic free zone. Our friends and family respect our boundaries and way of life. 
  10. Common interests – we support each other’s desire to go on missions, attend bible studies or conferences alone or together.

 Congratulations and best wishes as you begin your new life together!

Question ~ What role does faith play in choosing your spouse?

(This is Part 4 of 5 series of Before “I Do”)

Series Navigation<< Before “I Do” – Part 3 In-Laws

About Buky

Buky is a ''Desperado after God". She is married to Adey and together they are raising 3 amazing children. She is a natural encourager, loves sharing practical experiences with others. She enjoys writing, reading, dabbling in stock trading, hanging out with friends and serving the body of Christ.


  1. Thank you for the reminders! My favorite is # 6 – “Our children see us living out our faith daily and they follow suit without any confusion. They have a godly heritage.” –Amen to that. I pray that is always the case in our lives — Amen!

    • I pray the same for everyone. That none of our children will have any cause to depart from serving the Lord. As parents we would continue to be a great role model for them.

  2. data analyst izzi

    This article is just talking to me, I admit that my walk with God aint perfect yet, but being unequally yoked,,, MBA OHHHHHHHHH. Thanks for the reminders.

    • Izzi,

      None or us are perfect, but we strive to be like Him. If there is such a time we should draw a line in the sand. It should be to not be unequally yoked. The cost of obedience to God’s work is higher but the cost for disobedience is even higher. May the Lord continue to help us, Amen.

Add New Comment