Finally some pictures of Joshua to share with you all. Having Joshua home in the past 2 weeks has been interesting to say the least.
Joshua has a healthy appetite for an infant, he sleeps, eats and poo! Which is great except that he sleeps all day and wake up at 12 midnight then refuses to sleep until 4am.
For some reason I cant remember our other 2 children doing this, but Adey says it was the same! It all seems new all over again, so you can imagine in the morning I am not alert at all.
Overall, he is a good baby and for now I’m on his schedule.
Faith and David are deliriously happy to have a new baby at home. They don’t quite get it yet that Joshua is here to compete for some of their attention, lol!
They love him too much that we have to keep them all apart.
We had a naming ceremony for Joshua on the 8th day; it was a great turn out with lot of food and drinks! Let me see, Joshua has in total about 6 names but only 2 goes on the birth certificate.
We are grateful to all our friends and family for their support at this time and also for all the gifts, love offerings and food. We are so honored and blessed by the love you have shown our family. We look forward to rejoicing with you and your family also soon!!.
We continue to pray for those that are still standing in faith for the fruit of the womb. We know that God is indeed faithful and there is nothing that is impossible for Him. Never give up— even when you are faithless, He is faithful.
Our little bundle of joy arrived 24th March 2011 weighing 7lb.01. We are grateful to God for this addition to our family. Our words are nothing compared to the joy we feel.
There are no words Lord, to say thank you. You are truly the covenant keeping God. You keep your words above your name; you are not a God that changes His mind. Your mercy and love overwhelms me. How can we ever thank you for all you have done.
You took pity on a messed up girl from Lagos, Nigeria. You saw my mess and shame; you wiped away my tears and my guilt. You gave me a new beginning and wiped out the handwriting of ordinances, which was against me; and You took it out of the way, nailing it to the cross. You have embarrassed me with your love.
Abba Father! There is nothing that I have done to ever deserve this great and mighty love that you have blessed us with. What the enemy meant for evil You turned it round for our good. Who can curse what You have blessed. You have used the foolish things of this world to confound the wise.
You are the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The God of Adey, Buky, Faith, David and Joshua. You are a God of covenant and relationship. The invincible God that does visible things.
Lately my daughter has started asking about her grandparents. Each time, she has taken me by surprise and I haven’t figured what to tell her yet.
I try my very best to always tell her the truth, I realized that we need to established a relationship based on honesty even at such tender age of 4, children may be young but they are not stupid.
So why am I hesitant regarding my reply to her? We only have one living grandmother and she does not reside in America but most importantly hasn’t played an active role in our children’s lives.
Up till now it’s been ok and we do get by, our lives are busy with various other granny’s from our church who genuinely loves them. There is a part a grandparent plays in the lives of their children and I must admit that it is lacking in our children lives.
I don’t get bugged down by things that are out of my control; I comfort myself with the fact that at least we still have one that is living. My father is dead, both Adey’s parents are also late and none of them got to see our children. While it is not a source of sadness, it would have been nice to have them around to share some stories and family histories.
In my journey thru life, I have had many mentors. Others I have mentioned before and here are just a few more to show you how easy it is to seek out the right mentors for whatever stage you are in and how if this is applied, it will help you to achieve your life dream.
My heart desire is to be able to earn income from home while raising our young family. After working in the City of London for 16 years, which I enjoyed. I came to a conclusion that except you are pursuing your passion or doing something you truly love. You will always be searching for something else. “Your goals choose your mentors”.
A FEW INFLUENTIAL MENTORS IN MY LIFE
Dave Ramsey – Financial Peace University
One of the very first investments we made into our marriage was purchasing a DVD series of Financial Peace University. One of the top reasons couple divorce is due to lack of joint financial vision and education. It’s important to start your marriage by having a unify vision for your finances.
We sat through the entire series by ourselves and we have avoided getting into financial debt because we have the same vision.
I didn’t have parents that gave me sound financial advice and that is no excuse for not seeking one for our marriage. Quit making excuses and get some mentoring.
Robert Kiyosaki – Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
A large part of Kiyosaki’s teachings focus on generating passive income by means of investment opportunities, such as real estate and businesses. Kiyosaki defines “assets” as things that generate cash inflow, such as rental properties or businesses—and “liabilities” as things that use cash on, such as houses, cars, and so on.
After reading Rich Dad Poor Dad, it opened my eyes in a new way and it gave me the confidence to basically go out and apply the concepts. I was studying accounting at the time and your home was defined as an asset, while Kiyosaki teaches that you house is not an asset. For the first time I realized that our homes was not an asset but a liability, this totally changed my way of thinking.
Rich Dad, Poor Dad changed the way I think about money, investment, cash-flow and why you should have multiple streams of income. I was able to put his teachings into practice; with lessons gleaned from the book and Robert Kiyosaki’s voice ringing in my head I was off to view my first rental property. Before I could say, “Bob is your uncle” I had bought and rented out my first rental property and started generating cash-flow.
I was able to do it a few times over, building a little nest egg for myself and feeling great in the process.
Who would you have to mentor you? A rich man or a poor man?
The world is full of mentors, just look around you.
I didn’t always have the wisdom to recognize them nor had the humility to learn from them. Everyone has a measure of pride, stubbornness or arrogance. I had my fair share of them too.
Whose voice inspires you? Whose voice are you listening to? Whose voice is going to make the difference in your life in 2011? It is up to you.
Mentors are very vital to achieving our life’s dream. You will never reach your dream without a mentor in your life. Without them we won’t get to enjoy the journey talk less of getting there.
A Mentor is someone that has walked the path you are about to embark on and they can hold you accountable to achieving what you set out to do.
I mentioned in this post how Bomi of Jollynotes.com helped me when I started Bukville. With little knowledge about blogging, after stalking her blog for weeks I reached out to her and she gave me priceless advice and encouragement.
I spent a lot of my time reading Jollynotes and seeing how she interacts with her followers. I saw that she really did care and it showed thru their banter. I love that she was also using her platform to share the good news in a nice and friendly way.
Relationship deal breakers list are simply a list of things you wont put up with. It’s that simple; know the things you are willing to compromise on and those that are “non-negotiable.
Deal breakers are major difference in values and beliefs, red flags. They are boundary that people ought to set for themselves because they know that falling in love can make them do crazy things.
The whole essence of dating is getting to know each other intimately. Use this time to find out more about them, their religious beliefs, family background, past relationship, core and moral beliefs etc
Far too many of us are spending unnecessary time in a relationship that simply isn’t working for you right now or in the long run. Don’t be afraid to ask the right questions, if they leave you after being direct then thank your lucky star. The right person for you will not be afraid of your questions or your being direct. They will value it and know that you are sincere in your pursuit of marriage.
While I understand that making a list is not for everyone, I am a detail-oriented person. Everyone must find what works for them and still commit it into God’s hands.
It’s also important to point out that you must be realistic and honest with thyself. You expectations must be realistic and not a fantasy. Your expectations must align with the future you envisioned in your mind.
A few good men fell by this list, they were not bad guys, they were not the one for me. Having my list and others experienced married women in my life helped me to stay focused. For by wise counsel you shall make your war: and in multitude of counsellors there is safety Proverbs 24:6
My final list looks like this and they are also my deal-breakers!
I recently came across a program on VHI called “What Chilli Wants”. What Chilli Wants is an American reality series on VH1 starring Chilli, one-third of the Grammy Award-winning R&BtrioTLC. The show chronicles Chilli’s quest to find love with the help of Tionna T. Smalls, an author, relationship coach, a single mom and in her 30’s.
I have watched some episodes and I find it quite interesting and entertaining. Everyone seems to be giving Chilli a hard time for having a list.
What is wrong with having a list that guides and help you so you don’t make the same mistake as the past?
What is a list? It is simply a list of all the qualities you want in your partner. It helps you stay focused on your goals and make your dates more meaningful.
I am almost addicted to making a list; you all remember the simple list I mentioned here. I have a list for everything, to-do list, short-term goal, weekly shopping list, the list goes on and on.
In my 20’s I didn’t bother about making a list, all my focus was on Love. Yeah, there is nothing wrong with love but there is more to marriage than love. So it’s no surprise when I was ready to settle down in my 30’s, I got out my pen and paper and made a list. Over time my list have changed as I became more aware of what I really wanted.
Bukville is ONE-year-old, wow! How time flies when you are having fun and pursuing your passion.
It seems like just yesterday when I was struggling to make sense of what blogging is all about? Deciding between WordPress and Blogger, and how to set up a WordPress blog.
How we have come a long way from that, and as befitting on our 1-year anniversary we have moved to a self-hosting domain. I hope it gives us more flexibility with what can be achieved as our plans and vision are enlarged.
How do you like the new look? I haven’t made up my mind yet on the final look and things may soon change around. What is important to me is to make the site user-friendly and accessible to all.
Got any suggestions? Share them with me and I may just consider it. Thanks!
I came across a blog days ago and it just refreshes my soul and also reminded me of a promise I made to myself in 2007 to give myself the permission to SHINE.
We all need a little reminder from time to time, and since reading the blog, I have been reflecting all over again about that promise.
As a child, my mum told me that I was never shy at all. I am the last child that had to be dragged away from the school play kicking and screaming. I was the little girl that hugs the limelight at another’s child birthday party, which you would almost mistake for the celebrant.
Life happens and after one knock and several more, you start to shy away from your real self. Words spoken by others in anger can also crush us to the core. We refuse to take a leading role in our own lives and start playing the supportive role instead.
While there is nothing wrong with that, the time has come for you to stop hiding away and taking being humble to a ridiculous level. You are missing out in your moment of glory, your time to shine is being passed over to others simply because you have forgotten to give yourself the permission to shine and stand out of the pack.
In a previous post, I mentioned how making a simple list helped to guide me and to stay focused on what I needed to do.
On that list was relocation to America. Relocating to America was not an easy decision for me; even though I know it was the right move for me.
London was more than a place of residence, it was my home. London represented my journey to being a woman. I had my first job and paycheck in London, I became a responsible daughter sending money to my mother in Nigeria. I gained my freedom in London, I rented my first room, then my first apartment and later I bought my very first home.
Dear Past, You have made me better, not bitter. Thanks for the lessons!
We have been friends long enough. Today, I have made a decision that we can no longer be friends. Your friendship has become a pain I can no longer bear. Your company is suffocating me. You have held me back long enough and today it ends!
Though you pretend to be a friend, you were also my oppressor and my prison. I will miss you but not for long. Don’t wait for my return. Don’t count on me running back to you again. This time my ship has set sail. The Lord is the captain of my ship. I will not return to my vomit.
The times that I have returned, I regretted it. You are no good for me and we can’t be friends. Friendship with you is enmity with God.
I will not choose you over God. I will not choose you over my destiny. Friendship with you is bondage!
How long will you hold me in bondage? The price of your friendship is just too much to pay. Yes, you have always been there, my loyal and painful friend.
You are my constant pity party, my comfort zone eating away at my confidence. You are the discouraging voice that won’t let me possess my future promises. The loudest and all too familiar voice in my head.
So long old pal. So long depression and bitterness. So long my all too familiar alter ego. So long misery and the loudest voice in my head. So long shame and shackle. So long comfort eating and overweight. So long loneliness and guilt.
Welcome my destiny, brighter may you shine. Welcome, God’s mercy and favor. Welcome clarity and honesty. Welcome forgiveness and growth. Welcome new testimonies and breakthrough. Welcome reconciliation and restoration. Welcome freedom, love, and truth. Welcome ME!
The past is one of the weapons the enemy keeps using against believers. He knows you are likely to lose focus, become weak, depressed and distracted. So he keeps bringing it up; just when you think you have dealt with it and overcome. It comes up again and again; remember he is an accuser of the brethren.
Have you found that he uses people in your life to bring up your past? Well meaning Christians, friends or family who know your intimate past will throw it at you with the intent to hurt you when you have a fall out!
Well, welcome to the real world. Everyone has a past. Let us deal with it because it will always hunt you if you don’t. It will be used by the enemy to derail your progress each time you are about to be promoted in life. Making a mistake is not the most important thing, recovering from it is.
God never bring up your past, devil does. Once you asked for forgiveness it is done and buried under the blood. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us (Psalm 103:12)
It’s my birthday today and I feel younger than ever! I woke up to text messages from my siblings and friends, how nice and thoughtful.
I have everything I’ve wanted; God’s in our lives, Adey, the children, being pregnant and absolute joy and peace in my life. Money can’t buy any of those things.
I was serenaded with a special rendition of “happy birthday mom’’. Hahah how sweet, well done guys! I got presents too; a Balenciaga perfume and a house slipper. I can’t decide which one I love the most. I didn’t own a house slipper I usually wear Adey’s. My perfume smells lovely, thank you babe.
Just about 7 years ago, I was living in London, even though I liked having a career and a portfolio of properties that generates income for me on the side. I wanted more that money didn’t give me; I wanted my own family and I honestly didn’t think I could have that before I turned 40 yrs old. I am not yet 40 but getting closer to it.
I have been running a race against myself ever since; I didn’t want what anyone else had. I made a simple list of what I wanted and I started competing with myself.
This post is to my younger self, a conversation I wished someone had with me before I ever got married the first time. Are you ready for marriage? A little bit of background info to help make thing clearer to you as for why I should have had this dressing down talk.
I left home (Lagos, Nigeria) when I was 17 years old for London, England. I lived with my older brother for a short time and ever since then, I’ve lived by myself. I thought being born into a Christian family and attending church makes me a Christian.
No one wanted their freedom as much as I did. I had no clue of how to handle this new-found ”freedom”. Young, unguided, immature, and unteachable. I lived my life on my own terms. A lot of bad decisions leading to bad consequences.
Please note, I’m not asking for sympathy neither am I blaming anyone. I made my bed and I lied on it too. Getting to lie in this bed is a decision everyone must get to at a point in time.
Who really taught me how to be a wife or even a young lady? My folks were far away and really can’t see the stuff I was getting up to. Great for them, but not great for me.
Then one day out of the blue I thought I was in love and we were going to live forever in love, right? Nah!
If I had the chance to talk to my younger self, today. I would ask her the following:
15 Thought Provoking Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Marriage.
What makes you think that you are ready for marriage?
What do you know about being a wife, a partner and working as a team?
What are you bringing to the table? What do you have to offer to your husband?
What do you know about a man? Do you understand the male species at all?
Do you know who you are and what are your strengths and weaknesses?
Are you complete in yourself first, to be joined to another person?
What are your core and moral values, what are your relationship deal breakers?
What role is God playing in your life and where are you in your walk with Christ?
Are you really a Christian by name only and what is the foundation of this supposed marriage?
Can you take criticism from others; can you take correction or direction?
Can you honor and obey; can you zip your big mouth and not have the last word always?
Do you love yourself?
Would you marry you?
Do you like what you see and who you have become?
Can you live with you for the rest of your life?
I can honestly tell you now that I was so clueless it was unbelievable, and some of us are still clueless too. God forbid someone had this dressing down with me back then. I’d probably tell them off and avoid them for a while.
The truth is always the truth at all times, regardless if you agree or disagree. In time everyone knows who loved them enough to risk jeopardizing a relationship in order to minister truth in love. In time you will come to appreciate and respect them.
This is why you shouldn’t stand for false friendship. Stop telling me what I want to hear, dare to tell me the truth and get my feelings hurt. It’s better to get hurt for a short-term than to keep going around repeating the same madness
You and I cannot afford to keep going round in circles; we have got to put an end to the madness. I’d rather have no friends at all than having people who can’t tell me the truth.
But are you ready to receive it though? Can you be an adult and take it without no hissy fit?
Some of us can’t take the truth and that is why those who know you best are watching you make a fool of yourself. The last time they told you just a whiny little bit, what did you do? You threw it back in their faces and turned around throwing mud at them, using all the ammunition and secrets that you knew about them against them.
How do I know this? Because I have been that person, and sincerely I don’t want you to walk that destructive road. How many more relationships will you ruin with that mouth of yours? Some of us can’t keep silent to save our lives! Well, that won’t work in any relationship; you must be able to hear the truth! You must be teachable to enter God’s promises or else you are going to spend longer than you should in the wilderness.
I am also not waiting for others to tell me the truth. I am going to confront myself and deal with my issues. I am not waiting for my pastor, my husband or anyone else, I am going to fall on my face and cry out to God to reveal who I am to me. I am going to humble myself before the Lord and refuse to move until He answers me.
I am going to be like Jacob and cry from the depth of my soul, ‘’I will not let you go until you bless me until you change my name and until you take the veil off my eyes and let me see who I am’’
One thing I’ve learned bitterly over the years is that we are the greatest liar to ourselves, we are the greatest obstacle to ourselves, we are just too proud to admit it. Stop blaming the devil for everything, yes he is evil. You’re doing real good all by yourself and he hasn’t even started with you yet.
Quit running from your issues and take a look at you. I mean really take an in-depth look and analyze yourself. Dare to be naked and face the truth and deal with it.
Do you like what you see? If you don’t, then do something and quit complaining about it. If you do like what you see, love it and embrace it.
This year put yourself in the driving seat and make your life ‘The Project’. You cannot afford not to do this. You cannot afford to keep making the same mistakes due to ignorance, childishness, pride, and stubbornness. Stop procrastinating and face these tough questions now.
Just because you think you are ready for marriage does not mean you are. You might like the idea of marriage but have no clue about it.
Age is not also a yardstick for getting married. I know some cool young couples in their early 20’s who have more common sense than me when I was in my 30’s. They are married and happy, while others in their 30’s and 40’s can’t even stay together for 2 years. Age is not maturity.
Most time we want to focus on the man, who he should be, how he should look, what kind of job he should have and can he take care of his business? Yeah, yeah, those are great questions but you are not ready for that now.
You have to work on you: deal with yourself first!
Those areas of weaknesses you see in yourself are just areas to be developed, listen and pay attention to them.
Success in marriage is more than finding the right person. It’s being the right person.
– Robert Browning
Your pretty face can open the door but your character and mouth will shut the door every time. The world is full of beautiful women, what else do you have to offer apart from your beauty?
Stop acting; you know you deserved an Academy Award for the best actress in your category. You and I are not fooling anyone except ourselves.
This is the first step to getting real and dealing with your issues. You know what they are, stop lying to yourself!
I have had to do this myself, deal with my issues and I’ve still got more to work on. I am not better than you or know it all. I have people in my life who will confront me, even though I might not enjoy it. I have to listen to them because it’s for my good. And I also know they are right!
My mouth has gotten me into a lot of trouble and also gotten me out of some. I’ve spent a lot of my time reading the book of Proverbs. The Bible doesn’t lie, if you want understanding then get wisdom (Proverbs 4:7). Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent (Proverbs 17:28) Hello!
Know your issues and work on them. You are not going to possess God’s best without knowing who you are and identifying the areas you need to focus on.
Jacob had to be transformed to be the father of the 12 tribes of Israel. He had to wrestle and contend with God at his time of desperate need. You cannot keep settling for less when you know it’s your Father’s good pleasure to give you the best.
This is your desperate hour, your desperate year. Are you ready for your full inheritance? I am sounding the alarm for you to wake up and take your rightful place. It is your time to arise and shine for your light has come. And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth and deep darkness the people. But the Lord will arise over you, and His glory will be seen upon you (Isaiah 60:1-2)