Relationship Deal-Breakers – What are they?
Relationship deal breakers list are simply a list of things you won’t put up with. It’s that simple; know the things you are willing to compromise on and those that are “non-negotiable.
Deal breakers are the major difference in values and beliefs, red flags. They are boundaries that people ought to set for themselves because they know that falling in love can make them do crazy things.
The whole essence of dating is getting to know each other intimately. Use this time to find out more about the other person, their religious beliefs, family background, past relationship, and personal values, etc.
Far too many of us are spending unnecessary time in relationships that simply aren’t working for us right now or in the long run. Don’t be afraid to ask the right questions, if they leave you after being direct then thank your lucky star. The right person for you will not be afraid of your questions. They will value it and know that you are sincere in your pursuit of marriage.
Once you identify what your relationship deal breakers are then there is no point in continuing the relationship to the point of marriage. Stop investing precious time in dead relationships.
Why waste time in a relationship where your values are not aligned and the marriage is doomed to failure?
Are you trying to break your old patterns? Then it’s time for you to take a hard look at yourself, your needs, and your relationship deal-breakers. If not you will keep repeating those old patterns.
Set your boundaries and abide by them. Make your commitments to yourself; you’ll be a happier person.
One of the advantages of being a little older and wiser is, it makes you more confident and not afraid to ask for what you want. You also value and appreciate your time more. You know who you are and won’t allow someone to lead you down the wrong path.
So don’t be afraid to speak up and be who you are. Stop faking it and give the real you a voice. A real man loves a real woman.
Too many people don’t know what they really want in a relationship. They simply like the idea of being in one but they are not clear on the specifics.
Here is an example for you. So you meet a guy that you truly love. Then you find out that he loves watching porn and he is in debt up to his eyeballs. If your non-negotiables are no porn or no excessive debt, then keep walking.
Things will not get better once you are married, they will only get worse. And why should he change after marrying you? What is the incentive?
Some of your deal-breakers can be spotted on day one while others are not; others you will have to be direct and ask for. Things such as smoking, drinking, and using curse words can be easily spotted.
“Give people time to show you who they really are. Every actor will eventually come out of character”.
Listen and pay attention to what is being said, don’t just make assumptions. If he says he wants to be friends and may settle down at some point in the future. He is simply saying I am not ready to commit to you and wants to be friends. Stop trying to “pray him ready”.
While praying is not a bad thing, respect his free will. Also, you have enough friends and don’t need more, keep walking!
Personally for moi, I had a list of deal-breakers that I refused to compromise on. It helped with the process of elimination.
I cannot submit or respect someone with low standards, even if he’s a born-again Christian.
“If your high standards scare them away you should be scared of their low standards”.