Today (21 November), I had an emotional melt down plus a pity party. I have had better days than today and I am glad it is over. It is one thing to have an emotional melt down but plus a pity party? That is a sad combination.
So what happened? My husband who some of you know is also my best friend has been working abroad for the last 12 days. I miss him and I am tired along with being pregnant. I considered myself to be a strong person so I am just going to blame everything on my hormones (denial).
Yes, I am pregnant and at home with 2 toddlers under the age of 4yrs old. I love being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) and I usually cope well when hubby is away. Still, play along with me since I am blaming everything on my hormones (denial again)
I woke up really tired and tried getting ready for church, the children were not co-operating or so it seems. I decided maybe it was best we stayed home instead.
Out of nowhere and without notice, I just felt really sad and alone. I started weeping and I was just down on myself for no reason.
The truth is in the last12 days since hubby left, I have had less human contacts and very few contact with the outside world. My phone hardly rings and when I had tried to reach some friends and family I was greeted with their voicemail and my calls were not returned.
My cyber-friends have been great though, but let’s be real we need real friends in the real world. That human contact is very important to our social and mental development.
Once I was able to get a grip of myself, I sent the only person in the world I want to hold me and give me a hug a long text message. Adey, my darling husband and my rock; he immediately called me and listened to all my ranting and raving. He listened and allowed me to get it off my chest and he did what he is best at. Being my lover and my best friend, he told me to take it easy and chill out and he will be home soon.
Then he asked me a question. If I had told those 2 people that did called me how important their calls meant to me? Huh I thought? No I didn’t think of doing that I replied. He told me to do just that once we’re finished talking and to not make any rash and quick decisions about others.
The truth is we are all busy people and sometimes we are all wrapped up in our own life and don’t have time for others.
Honestly, the past 5 years for me, had been about me, me and me. I am driven about the things that are important to me. My main focus had been my relationship with God, my husband and my children. While those are not bad things to focus on, life is all about balances and seasons. This I know about very well but on a bad day, believe me common sense is not so common.
We all need a friend or two; it is good for our social and mental development. If you think that you can do without one, go ahead and give it a try!
So once I was calmed and thinking right, I called and texted those 2 people and expressed my gratitude for their friendship and love.
Then I started doing some thinking about what kind of friend I had been to others. It is so easy to assume that you have been a great friend to others while you have not been.
There is a famous saying “If you want to be a friend, you have to show yourself friendly”. So I have been doing a little soul searching myself and I wonder if you have had such a day as I did today? How did you deal with it and what lessons did you learn?
Depending on where you are on this journey of life will determine how much friendship you require. As a SAHM it can sometimes be isolating because you spend more time with toddlers (in my case) more than I do with adults. So I have to make more effort in staying in touch with friends.
There are different types of friendships and we need to be honest and take it for what it is. You are not going to be best buddies with everyone and not everyone is going to like you.
Wherever you find yourself, you still need friendship and that human interaction is so important to our wellbeing.
Why does friendship go wrong?
We’ve all had friends in and out of our lives; look back at the beginning of 2010. How many of the friends you started the year with are still friends with you now? You are probably wondering what happened? I am wondering the same too!
Could it be that you are reaping what you sow? Or you are not much of a good friend that you thought you were? Well these are some of the thought going through my mind. How about you?
Well, don’t cry over spilled milk. It is part of life; you win some and you lose some. Some friendships are just for a season while other can be for a lifetime.
In any case both good and bad friendship teaches us something. What lessons are you going to take from your friendship? Just don’t focus on the bad aspect of your relationship, but remember the good times too.
Sometimes until we walk in our friends shoes then we can truly understand why they behaved the way they did.
If you are feeling lonesome this season please reach out to others that may be feeling lonesome too. Don’t isolate yourself and have a meltdown or pity party like I did. Believe me it is not fun having a party by yourself, lol.
Reaching out to others is a great way of forgetting about your problem and making others happy is so fulfilling. Call a friend today and tell them how much you appreciate them, don’t leave it till tomorrow. Go and do it NOW!!
That was what I did and I feel super special and back to my young self again. I wrote this post while the children are having their nap time; it is nice and quite too!!
In part 2 – we are going to discuss different types of friendship.