Buky is a ''Desperado after God". She is married to Adey and together they are raising 3 amazing children. She is a natural encourager & she loves to share practical experiences with others. She enjoys writing, reading, dabbling in stock trading, hanging out with friends and serving the body of Christ.

Pregnancy – Helpful Tips While Waiting On God To Conceive.

These are helpful tips to help you get through those tough times while you wait on God for your precious babies.

Whether you chose to go thru the IVF, Natural or Adoption route you still need God’s guidance and agreement with your husband.
Children are a blessing and they will bring you a lot of joy and sleepless nights, lol.

Wives let us not forget that our husbands are hurting too, they don’t show it but they feel our pain and are struggling because they can’t fix this. They are the silent warriors that are often pushed to the side. Don’t forget to minister to him too. If you don’t, someone else might help ya!

Savings – Use this time wisely to have a healthy bank account, you sure will need it. Having a first child can turn you into a fashionista. You have waited this long for a child, who cares about the cost? You will have to keep your head cool and not spend it all at once.

Learn a new hobby or craft – I took up bead making and sewing, I was absolutely crappy at them both, lol. I still have my sewing machine to remind me today!

Continue reading

Everyone is Pregnant except ME – Part 2.

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the seriesEveryone Is Pregnant

On the issues of past mistakes, deal with it and let it be settled once and forever. It is under the blood, as far as the east is from the west. That is how far God never remember our sinful past. Learn to forgive yourself, it is so easy for us to forgive others but we struggle in forgiving ourselves.

I will never forget the very night that everything changed for me. I had enough of it all, the sadness, the crying, and the begging. From all the pain and shame that I had felt and endured, I cried out to God. Saying, “Give me a child, don’t give me a child; I am going to serve you all the days of my life.

Continue reading

Everyone Is Pregnant Except ME – Part 1.

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the seriesEveryone Is Pregnant

Everyone is pregnant except me! That was my outburst to Adey on returning from the Mall in 2006. With tears rolling down my face, I don’t know how much of…

Continue reading

Friends or Frenemies – Part 2

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the seriesFriends Or Frenemies

In Part 1, I talked about my emotional melt down and pity party, how I felt alone and friendless. Thank God we don’t walk by feelings but by faith. I might have had my moments of pity party but I did not completely lose my mind to assume that my friends are bad.

As we enter into 2011 take an inventory of those in your life and drop the dead weight that are holding you back. Where God is taking you in 2011, you can’t take Lot with you. If God had already taken Lot out of your life, don’t invite him back or look back like Lot’s wife did.

So what type of friend are you?

I have put together a list of 10 different types of friendship, which one are you or what type of friend do you have?

Are you the church friend, Nosy parker friend (Amebo), Agony aunt friend or a Cofidante?

See Bishop T.D Jakes video clip talking about 3 important friends you need to know all about!!

Continue reading

Friends Or Frenemies – Part 1

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the seriesFriends Or Frenemies

Today (21 November), I had an emotional melt down plus a pity party. I have had better days than today and I am glad it is over. It is one thing to have an emotional melt down but plus a pity party? That is a sad combination.

I woke up really tired and tried getting ready for church, the children were not co-operating or so it seems. I decided maybe it was best we stayed home instead.

Out of nowhere and without notice, I just felt really sad and alone. I started weeping and I was just down on myself for no reason.

Continue reading

Singles Talk: Who Should Pay?

While Adey and I were courting, we saw each other on and off about 5 times before I eventually move to America to plan our wedding. I was living in London while we were dating and I paid for all my travelling expenses. It never occurred to me to ask him and he didn’t offer to pay for my flight either.

In all honesty I figured that once I am in, I will be greatly reimbursed for all my costs, lol. For real too, I wanted babies and a happy marriage as my reimbursement. (Which he’s awesomely doing) Not cash and gift that I would spend in no time (that he’s also doing) and didn’t have any lasting value.

So this was what happened to my girl friend, she met Mr. Right (me think) but he didn’t offer to pay for her flight or any of her travelling expenses and she was not happy about it. She also felt that he should be calling more; she didn’t try too hard herself because she believed that was his job.

To cut a long boring story short, she dropped him. Who was at fault? What really are the rules of long distance dating?

Continue reading

The Season To Remember Others…….

Not so long ago I actually detested any festive holidays. It was yet another reason to remember my lonely state of mind and how I didn’t have this and that to fill my life with. It was a time to watch others living the life I so longed for.

Few years back I joined my family for yet another Christmas dinner, it was nice of them to include me. The truth was I felt out of place, sometimes I can’t help thinking maybe they feel sorry for me and can’t bear to see me spend another festive holiday alone with my Chinese fried rice and wonton soup.

The evening was going great, lovely food and nice company. Just then my nephew asked me a question. “Aunty why don’t we see uncle again”????

Continue reading

Great Fathers Are A Blessing.

My father died in 1986 and my world as I knew it changed forever. Growing up and having my father around was great. I took it for granted that he would always be around. I was only 13yrs old when he died and I never wanted anyone else to take his place. There was a void in my life with his passing away that I never knew would happen.

Since his passing on, I have had very few male role models in my life; I have not looked for any. I didn’t think I needed one either.

Continue reading

The 15 Lessons I’ve Learned In 5 years Of Marriage

1. Honor

Honoring my husband is important. What matters to women and men are so different. Men want honor and respect above sex and cooking. Sex and cooking are important but they can’t live on that 24/7. What will eventually keep him coming home every day is honor and respect.

I am not perfect in these areas but I am learning fast and seeing great results. In every man; there is a king and a fool. Whose response do you want? Who are you speaking to? If you speak to the king in him, not only do you get the king’s response, you get his rewards too.

This I have learnt, practiced and seen great result. So every time I open my big mouth I ask myself who am I addressing and what do I hope to achieve?

You can get all from your husband without nagging, manipulations, without holding sex or not cooking for him, etc.

Just by choosing to honor him daily, especially when you don’t think he deserve honor, so to speak. I learnt this from my husband; he apologizes to me when I know am wrong! This convicts me more than anything.

We don’t honor our husband because he deserves it, we do it unto the Lord, and He is the greatest rewarder of all.

Continue reading

Adey, My Joy And Crown

It is exactly 5 years ago that you took me to be your bride. These past 5 years have been a blessing with you and our children. There is not one day have I ever regretted marrying you.

Adey means “ The Crown”, you have been my joy and crown. (Phil4:1)

You have been to me, what Abraham was to Sarah, my lord (Gen18:12). You are gentle, kind, considerate, loving and have no bad words to say about anybody.

You are still the man that I fell in love with 5 years ago, and baby you get better and more handsome by the day. You are like a bottle of wine, the older you are the sweeter you get.

A week before we were schedule to get married. We had some major setback. Somebody gave a very damaging report about me of which you and the officiating minister for our wedding were informed of. The information was so damaging, honestly I won’t have gone ahead and marry me too.

Continue reading

Get Desperate With God And Get MARRIED.

So I was at a stage in my life that I had everything else going for me except for one thing. Marriage. I was in my mid-30’s and that was the only thing missing from my life. I didn’t want another career or another weight loss idea. I didn’t need a manicure, a pedicure, or a designer bag. I didn’t want another expensive holiday. Not even more money could fill that yearning that I had to be married and have children.

When you are ready, you know it. You no longer feel like hanging with your single friends. Yet at the same time you feel out of place when you’re your married friends.

You start wondering, “What else is there to do that I haven’t done before?” You don’t want to go clubbing. You’re tired of being the only friend that’s being set up with another single brother.

You know that he is out there but don’t have a clue how to go about finding him. Well that was me six years ago. If this sounds like you KEEP READING.

Continue reading

No More Cleavage In The House Of God

If we call ourselves Christians, shouldn’t we act like one? Christian means to be Christ-like. Are you truly portraying Christ in the way you dress?

The line that once distinguished Christians from non Christians has become severely blurred.

Continue reading

Here Is To You, Sister Dearest.

Sister Dearest

Growing up together we were never close. She and I were like night and day. She was the straight A student and I was not. She was the perfect daughter who would always abide by our parents’ rules and regulations. I did not.

She never rebelled. I did. I almost never heard her curse while we were growing up. I did curse her out a lot and she gave me some of the best beatings of my life!!! Ouch! She didn’t talk much back then. She used one-liners, like “Stop it or I will whoop you.” Of course I didn’t listen. So she bashed me over the head. I just thought she was jealous and miserable. True, there was a lot to be jealous of. I was a spoiled little brat, I had a big mouth on me, I was rude and disrespectful, and I was doing badly at school. Yeah, I can see why she was so envious. NOT

Continue reading

Does Mama Really Knows Best?

I cant help thinking that mothers cant win, whichever decision was made 10 plus years ago is coming back to hunt and bite them in the face.

My focus is mainly on “Mamas” because most of the time (not all the time) when families disengage, Mamas’ are the ones left behind to pick up the pieces.

Most times we do a very good job, other times we ourselves are just barely children needing our mama too. Children raising children, a recipe for disaster.

Hindsight is always 20 20, then it is too late. The damage is done and you can not go back and rewrite history or make right the wrongs.

Continue reading

20 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship

Women sometimes are confused with what is classified as an abusive behavior. It is not until he physically hits you, then you realize that you are being abused. There are obvious signs along the way; you chose to ignore it, even though your friends and family can see it.

Continue reading

Before “I Do” – Part 3 In-Laws

This entry is part 3 of 4 in the seriesBefore "I Do"

In-laws to most but Outlaws to a few!

Why discuss in-laws before marriage?
In-laws come with the marriage, whether you like it or not. It is like living in Texas, you do not have a choice about the sales tax, and you just pay it.

When you marry, you do not only marry that person you get the entire family. You just cannot ignore that these people exist; you are going to have a form of relationship with them. If only because it makes your partner happy knowing how important they are to him.

Deal with it, your partner did not fall from the sky, someone gave birth to him, loved him, nurtured him and he will not be the person that he is today without those people in his life. Just like you have parents that love and care for you, same goes for him too.

Continue reading

Before “I Do” – Part 2 Sex

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the seriesBefore "I Do"

What kind of dance do they have in mind, is it the Tango, Waltz, Quickstep or the Paso Doble? This is the time to lay it all down, what you will and will not engage in.

Sex should be between a man and a woman, but you may be surprised to find out that your Christian FP also thinks it’s okay to bring visual aids; such as porn or making your own “home movies” into your marital bedroom. You need to know right now before you say “I Do”. We are all at different levels in our walk of faith; do not ever assume that because they are believers they do not have an obscure way of thinking.

Continue reading

Before “I DO” – Part 1 Money

This entry is part 1 of 4 in the seriesBefore "I Do"

Men do not talk much as we all know; men are so very different from women (thank God!). A man may not offer to tell you some personal information that a woman would consider relevant. Therefore, what is relevant to a woman is not necessarily so to a man.

Asking the right questions will eliminate some of the confusion that will surely arise later after the wedlock.

Continue reading