In Samuel 16:1 God asked Samuel “How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel?

What about you: How long will you mourn? Think about it. List all your disappointments according to the year and do the maths.  How long more do you think you need? 

God did not rebuke Samuel for mourning over Saul, but rather for the length of time. Grieving in itself is not bad. Mourning is good for the soul, a time to cry, a time to reflect and a time to heal.

A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:4, NIV. 

Mourning is a natural process of coming to terms with loss, pain, and regrets. Excessive grief may lead to death; fear of living, loneliness, sickness, mental breakdown and depression.

The goal of this post is not to undermine your pain, loss, suffering, heartache, and disappointment. I wrote about overcoming disappointments because I’ve overcome many through Christ Jesus who strengthened me. For many years I wore my regrets as a crutch and shame. I was miserable, in pain, denial and my life was on hold. I don’t wish that on anyone. 

The goal of this post is to make you realize that on the other side of your disappointments there’s healing and freedom.

YOU: “Buky, you don’t understand what they did to me.
ME: You’re right, I don’t. But God does, and He wants to help you bury them.

In 1 Samuel 16:2 –  And Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears it, he will kill me.” The fear of what if kept Samuel in mourning. What are you afraid of? What is your what if? 

The Fear of “what if” has kept many locked up in their own self-created prison. Don’t let the fear of “what if” keep you from living and pursuing your dreams.

Misplaced Faith In A Broken World
Our disappointments reveal our misplaced faith, hopes, and expectations in a broken world. We are broken people living in a broken world. Accept that everyone will disappoint you at some point in life. Be Ok with that. Know that you will disappoint everyone eventually. Be ready to forgive quickly, heal and let go.

The Past Is Gone and Done
Disappointment isn’t about the past; it’s about the present. What was done is in the past. Let go and move forward. Today is about the present. Don’t allow the past to steal, kill and destroy your life and any hope for the future God planned for you.

Choose Wholeness and Live
Mourn, cry out to God, weep, get some counseling, do whatever it takes for you to heal wholeheartedly. Don’t get stuck in life by dwelling in the past. No one can figure life out and by trying to make sense of everything will make life a living hell.

Sometimes life doesn’t make sense: bad things happen to innocent and kind people. I can’t make sense of the death of an infant, why some couple can have children and abandon them, while others fail in their efforts. 

Don’t try to understand life. Live it! Don’t try to understand love. Move into love. Then you will know – and all that knowing will come out of your experiencing. The more you know, the more you know that much remains to be known. ― Osho

Who Might You Be?
The past only hurt if we keep revisiting painful memories! We don’t heal because we refuse to forgive and let go of emotional wounds and without them who are we. Who are we without them?

All the apologies in the world will not heal some of us. We’ve become addicted to our diseased past instead of learning from them. We’ve given our disappointments power of attorney rather than giving them over to God. Who are you without your crutches; shame, blame, pain, and regrets? 

A Time To Heal. 

Try Again.
But the Lord said, “Take a heifer with you, and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.’ ³ Then invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do; you shall anoint for Me the one I name to you. 1 Samuel 16:3

God instructed Samuel to try again and this time ― His way. Take a risk, take a step into the future. Samuel tried SEVEN times before He got the right son, David, who was not present at the time. I love the fact that the bible didn’t say that Samuel got it right at his first attempt.

Before I had my youngest son, Joshua, I had two miscarriages. After the second miscarriage, I was afraid if I were to conceive again I would be full of fear and not be able to celebrate or enjoy the pregnancy. God strengthened me, and I had a healthy and joyful pregnancy. If I had not tried again, I wouldn’t have my beautiful son and a testimony to encourage others.

Forgive Yourself: The truth is we are the hardest on ourselves. Forgive yourself for being too hard, unloving, unforgiving and overly critical of yourself. Forgive yourself for blaming and hating yourself. Forgive yourself for blaming God and not trusting Him with your fear and pain. Forgive yourself for making others a scapegoat: by blaming them and making yourself a victim. 

Forgive Your Ex: We all have them; Ex-wife, husband, in-laws, fiancé, fiancée, girlfriend & boyfriend. Why stop there? Ex-business partner, employer, ex-best friend, etc.

They’ve hurt us, but we’ve learned valuable lessons from them. Let go of every attachment to past pain. Forgive and keep forgiving until you’re no longer in any pain, anger, and regret when you think about them. Stop allowing ghost from your past to steal your present joy.

As long as we hold on to negative emotions, we can’t fully embrace the hope we have in Christ Jesus, our new identity and purpose. Love in spite of rejection. Forgive in spite of past pain. Live joyfully with no regrets.

Prayer:
Dear God, I’m ready to put the past behind me. Lord, forgive me not trusting and accepting the gift of life. Today I choose to forgive myself and others, and I embrace your love, grace, and mercy. Thank you, God, for restoring my soul. Help me to turn my sorrow into joy, my mess into a message. Thank You, Lord, for the hope of a new future. Thank you, my Father, for saving me.